thought #48 if only the world was more patient

then perhaps it would be an irrefutably better place. perhaps we would have people at the supermarket queues with their arms outstretched politely remarking "after you." or the extinction of speeding tickets, or the decrease of suicidal rates because people are patient enough to not play God and just wait to die in the correct and ordained time haha. (n.b. anyone in retail can concur that if only more people were patient, then stress levels and aggravated manslaughter rates would dramatically drop HAHA).

actually, the real reason behind this thought originates from my house alarm, which has not stopped beeping all day. obviously something is broken but my parents being the asian optimists that they are, believe it will eventually go away. they have been incorrect so far. the only reason why this damned electronic is annoying is because it is located the nearest to my bedroom and thus beeps like a bitch all day and will so all night *sigh*.

so anyway... patience is one of the most amazing virtues to possess, yet is also the most difficult to acquire. personally i am the most impatient being in this universe (arguably). i can be many things of the positive, but being patient just doesn't adhere to any bone in my body. this can be seen in the patterns of behaviour i exude.   for example, i know an item will go on sale, eventually, yet have an impulse to buy it at retail price, regardless if it costs the earth. for example, i know i will eventually get told something, but persist in finding ways and methods of manipulation (in matty's case, i fail miserably but still haha). for example, queues for me are like torture chambers. especially when all you want is one item and there are about 9275259 million other beings in front with double the amount of items.

it's amusing to know that "be more patient" or "be less impatient" always appears on my things to do/new years resolutions list every year. but what i've come to ultimately realise is that it takes patience to become patient. it requires stretching and bending and a behavioural alteration to anything synonymous with time and waiting. through many encounters in life, the best moments and decisions have been made because i chose to wait. because i extended myself just a little longer than i thought i could. it has been worth it. so as 2010 continues, as things to do, people to meet and days to age approaches us i think of only one thing. to be patient. hopefully, by the time 2011 comes around i don't need to put "be more patient" on the list, because it's already been achieved :)

love,

p.s. somedays i wish i could learn patience by being stuck in a car with people i dont like haha. 

thought # 47 *insert awkward silence*

today, whilst flicking through my sacred moleskine, i realised how awkward the word "awkward" was. perhaps its the placement of "w's" or the way it can be articulated in an american (awwwk-werrrd), british (awe-k-were-d) or filipino (owww-k-waaard) accent haha.


anyway, i must say i am fond of awkwardness. i love boys who are subconsciously awkward, those who fumble with their pens and drop things on the floor, those who stutter in conversation and use big words not out of conceit but simply because its within their vocabulary, those who smile and turn away at the mere thought of sharing a mutual awkward silence with someone they adore, those who embrace awkward silences and literally liquidise by the very perfect moment they are in. those who laugh at their awkwardness and cherish others. those are the kind of awkward encounters i like. yes there are awkwards that make you feel uncomfortable, that make you desperate with feeble attempts at alibis to remove you from the situation. and the worst of them all are the boys who try to be awkward because they know girls dig it.


you're either awkward or you're not. you're either michael cera cute, nerdy, hesitant but brilliant. or you're another dick who wears glasses even though he doesnt need them and sleazily tries to pick you up with "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock." HAHA so i dont know about you, but awkwardness isn't all too bad. socially-awkward people are usually the most amazingly, intriguing and sweet people you will meet. now to find my "awkward silence" boy... or perhaps he already exists in my world and i am just yet to realise his presence? *insert awkward silence* :)


love,

ps. this made me laugh uncontrollably haha. 

thought # 48- no mind, never matter

if i have learnt anything over the years regarding the heart, it would have to be never, never, never overanalyse. it's a bitch; its a habit that often extends its wretched arms to other parts of your life to the point where you find yourself staring at inanimate objects such as a water bottle and overanalysing the condensation of its insides and every curve and dent of its plastic figure. it's simply not healthy haha.

but in all seriousness, there is a difference between analysing and overanalysing. just as there is a difference between foolishness and wisdom. in every part of life it is necessary to pause and as i reiterated in thought #47 be silent, and analyse life. understand where you are going, who you are, what you live for, why the things that matter most to you matter and such. its not abnormal to be profound once in awhile haha. but then draws a thin line between analysing and overanalysing. when as ben kweller once sang in panamanian girl  "im jealous of the things that aren't even there." becomes a nasty truth then you may have a problem. no one likes an overanalyser. because once you become an overanalyser you end up adopting traits of jealousy, clingyness, trust issues, paranoia, schizophrenia and the list potentially perpetuates.

i recall, in my naive and ignorant days of 13years+, thinking that everything a guy said or did had to be deciphered. and i mean this is true but i would spend days agonising, without sleep,  and in the company of other naive and ignorant females wondering what "i like you" really meant or "i don't like you" really translated to. as ive grown older (and very arguably wiser haha) i've come to this point where i like you means i like you and i dont like you simply means i don't. i have given up the embarrassing sleepless overthinking and have come to understand that its better to ask if you don't truly comprehend and leave it as it is. i'm not saying don't ask questions and i'm certainly not saying to stop thinking. but sometimes your mind is better left to exercise over the more important issues of life.

so i guess next time if he/she says "i like you" embrace it, don't rip it apart, don't analyse syllabically, just accept it simply for what it is.

love,

p.s. i dont know why i love this photo, i know its morbid haha.
try overanalysing this? haha

thought #47- silence and midas

this entry may not make any proper sense other than to one particular person. so if you conclude in utter confusion, i apologise but thank you regardless for persisting in reading haha. so i begin this morning in a silent state. the usual morning wake up call, msn message, facebook comment, skype chat etc. has been severed momentarily. the feeling was eerie. as if something wasn't right. but then i muse on the bigger picture. the whole reason for the two week invisibility between us both. and even if i am starting day one pathetically by thinking about you (i promise this entry will never be repeated again haha) i am hopeful that the outcome of this all will be a realisation and deeper grasp into who we are and who we are to each other.

which leads me to my second thought- silence. the hackneyed quote "silence is golden" can always be seen in both a negative and positive light. i like to see it through the latter. i don't mean silence as in the cold shoulder treatment, which leaves both parties feeling guilty for non-existent crimes and pieces of shit imprinted on the back of poor shoes. i mean silence as in rest, prodigious space, quiet, peace. silence is an amazing concept. imagine if we didn't know the meaning of silence, if it were a foreign unidentified thing. then i guess we would never come to truly appreciate noise. hence why silence in life is precious. silence allows us to appreciate the busyness, relationships we have and the terrifically loud cosmos which we live in.

so today, tomorrow or maybe soon be still. be silent and in that silence will birth the greatest understanding of why you are you and who matters the most in your private world :)

love,

p.s. gotta love these guys haha. we all need hush in life haha.

thought #46- years don't die. they just grow up.

as my lovely friend annelise holwerda once wrote on my facebook, i can wholeheartedly agree with this statement as 2010 begins to blossom and change, change and more change moulds my world. it feels my days are likened to clay at the potter's wheel. cheesy, hallmark-like simile but it does feel that so much has altered and is altering and being examined, analysed, discarded and refined. it's almost scary, being in such a vulnerable position but i guess this year is the perfect time to do so. the time where you are no longer a child and where the future is much more closer than you once intended it. where independence is at your grasp and where big decisions surpass which party to go to on the weekend and whether to do that math homework or not (how i miss the simplicity of secondary schooling haha).

suddenly you are faced with life. frightening haha. well i guess all this profound talk was spurred by todays happenings in which i enrolled at uts straight after work with kuan. it was a brilliant day amidst confusing timetable selections, the awkward weather and even awkward train ride with an old man rocking back and forth behind us. we encountered strangers (random abc radio lady questioning my opinions regarding virginity and tony abbott haha) and friends (e.g. eugene the random) and whoever is defined by the status in between.  after being dropped off by kuan, i returned home tired but fighting the desire to nap seeing as it is powerhouse soon and i am adamant to battle laziness and attend. my day concludes here and so i return to the glories of technology, pondering about the subject which has been in my mind for the past week or so now- past, present, future.

love,

ps. cute picture, and yes i know it has no relevance to the entry haha.
pps. this reminded me of playing super mario on matty's iphone! i miss you, new unexpected friend haha.

thought #45- expected strangers and unexpected friends

in life you meet people; strangers. another nameless grimace in another crowd in another city in another country in this entire cosmos. another palpitating heart walking to the quotidian beat of their repetitive, mediocre existence. another soul, another system of organs with another list of dreams to conquer and shit to forget. another metaphorical clock, which ticks, the hands passing the numbers by which your age represents, until your time is up. another one of you.

but sometimes, and not often nor assured or inevitable, you meet people; who evolve from being mere strangers. who no longer become a blur in the ephemeral and busy nature of our lives. whose name is attached to a face sprinkled with familiarity and features (freckles, one eye green the other blue, a crooked nose). whose smile you recognise as having the responsibility for your internal explosions. who, out of serendipity or fate (never just by chance), knows exactly how you feel with no need for verbal confirmation or one’s physical presence. who has common dreams to conquer and shit to forget, but also stark contrasts, which spark mutual interest each and every time.

sometimes in life you meet another one of you and suddenly that feeling of just a statistic, number, another name and another farrago of flesh and bones is dispelled by the fact that you’ve met someone like (but not is) you. so once you meet that someone that once a stranger, now a friend- don’t ever let them go. why would you ever return to just “another?” 

love,

ps. because life sometimes feels like where's wally? haha

thought #44- moving furniture

is a messy, cluttered business as i can view from the condition of the top level of our house haha my parents' fantastic idea to rip the carpet of all main bedrooms and replace this with timber flooring has left much clutter, half assembled beds, shelves in random nooks and so on. this physical rearranging can be attributed to the internal changes that i have decided and am deciding to implement as prompted by the events of last week.

it feels like there is much moving and discarding and ripping apart and replacing to do in life after much thought and conviction. and although it is painful and stressful and internally unwanted i must look beyond my current selfishness and understand that there will come a time i can look back and truly appreciate the efforts of looking at the symbolic pieces of furniture in my life in a different light haha.

and so begins my recounting. to be honest, my head is still half exploding and half processing at all that occurred in my brisbane adventures but i must say it was amazing. i was sad to leave, wishing that one week extended for longer. there were so many things learnt, so many new friendships sparked and so many questions left to answer. as sappy as this may sound, it was really life altering. it made me suddenly think about what i believe, why i believe it, who i am and what the hell am i doing with this life i've been graciously given? i remember thinking at times "fuck... where exactly am i going?" but i think its crucial. vital to question yourself and have people question your beliefs, because it is only in this pressure and removal of comfort that we are stretched (or tented) to remind ourselves the fundamental source of why we exist. it was also great to have other people who shared your common belief question or voice their own different opinion regarding areas such as creation and the coming. it was a precious experience.

and so what's next? after all the amazing times, the city shopping splurges, the excessive amount of caffeine and absence of sleep and lecture after lecture after lecture? we are left to translate and seek to realign our lives to the truth (not that relative truth bullshit... sorry postmodernists haha). as i commented earlier its painful, i can feel the effect already. as much as i dont want to hurt anyone decisions must be made not just for my sake but for the sake of the other souls that i've included in my life. right now im in no place of victory. i wish i could tell you that last week made me "pumped and alive for jesus and wanting to change the world etc etc" and although that urgency is present its made me realise the hypocritical nature of my life and the need to move furniture for the sake of my future.

haha deep i know. sorry if i babbled on and you're thinking "what is she on about?" haha. but yeah last week was brilliant... i miss the gorgeous locals and sunny weather already. compass 2011 please? haha.

thought #43- why i can't be anti-social tomorrow

as much as it repulses every feeling and natural operation of my personality regarding befriending strangers, i will make friends with unfamilar faces. mainly because i will be in queensland, without knowing anyone personally but hopefully finding solace and comfort in a few people who attempted to not be anti-social themselves haha. it is a bittersweet feeling as i write away, knowing very well that the next proper post will be a week from sunday (depending upon the internet connection, virtual facilities and time in brisbane). i am excited and enthralled to be experiencing such independence and liberty and hopeful to meet (as sappy as this sounds) "life long friends" which an experience of this calibre can only offer haha.

on the other hand i am hesitant to leave, and although one week will transitorily pass before i can even pay attention, knowing i will have to sacrifice the little luxuries of my regular life. little things like skyping until the wee hours of the morning with kuan, complaining before, during and after work haha, messaging matty almost (if not) every day, the incessant chatter of my parents, even the iotas of life like a message or comment from facebook or the comfort found sleeping in my own bed. but nevertheless it will be splendid. hopefully i will be able to recount most of the experiences and encounters :)

well i shall be off, tonight is another birthday party to attend before i am to board a plane in the morning and hopefully avoid any tourist symptoms and embarrassingly getting lost haha. until next week, be safe and take care my lovelies.

much love and will miss you all,

ps. this picture doesnt really give brisbane justice... but oh well haha.

  

thought #42- why everyone should take the elevator

i had this dream awhile back (circa early 2009) and as pathetic and sappy as it sounds involved myself meeting an unknown handsome stranger inside an elevator at some unidentified university. basically, we complimented each others clothing and resulted in my rejection after his sincere "hey i know this thai place near campus, if you havent had lunch yet..." haha im still contemplating whether its quioxtic, foolish or just mere creepy of me to recall the exact detail of that dream but of course i awoke wishing it was a reality haha.

depending on who is inside an elevator with you, you may obtain feelings of wishing this ride would never end or feelings of utter desperation as if you're swimming with jaws or something. have you ever observed the awkward silence or the fleeting moment eyes and gazes collide as someone enters and leaves an elevator? while the ride occurs you shuffle your feet, look up to the ceiling, feign that the numbers on the wall are the most exciting thing since sliced bread and avoid any inappropriate lengths of staring which may be taken as scary/pedophiliac/rude. perhaps its me but its in this instance where suddenly you're another stranger to a stranger, where the possibility of being stuck inside in an event of misfortune is a reality and for that instance you are at your most vulnerable.

perhaps the man/woman of your dreams is inside with you, perhaps your long lost relative haha. i don't know im just being idealistic. but really, elevators can be the origin to which something flourishes in your life. what is the real meaning of today's thought? nothing at all. it was utterly random haha. all i can say is next time you enter an elevator be nice. don't be like those grouchy fags that push their trolleys into your feet and pout as if they have an appointment with the devil or something. smile to strangers, not in that way... and you never know. perhaps you can say its just optimistic of me, but you can never really tell who you'll meet and what they'll mean to you inside an elevator haha.

love

p.s. this made me laugh haha,

thought # 41- loathe and love

im being a copycat and jumping on the bandwagon of my dear friends eleanor clark and jason tam and combining their love and hate list into one haha.

17 things i love and loathe

1. i love- planning playdates. i loathe- when the playdate participants call fifteen minutes before with a trivial excuse of not going haha.
   
2. i love- jelly belly 50 flavour trays. i loathe- the sickening feeling after consumption in which it feels like your mouth has been fixated in a pot of honey. 
3. i love- shopping. i loathe- the empty wallet and the failure that is synonymous with "saving."
4. i love- the evolution of technology. i loathe- getting capped, things lagging and disconnecting, free midday television shows.
5. i love- the beach and city adventures. i loathe- the lack of shade, turning two shades darker and getting another sprinkle of freckles to the face.
6. i love- my favourites. i loathe- that im often too busy to see them these days.
7. i love- my macbook. i loathe- nothing about it haha oh maybe that it gets hot quite easily.
8. i love- london and europe. i loathe- that i haven't visited it yet.
9. i love- air conditioning on scorching days such as today. i loathe- the annoying sound of my next door neighbour's air conditioning which runs 24/7. 
10. i love- being an only child. i loathe- "the my baby forever" or "my one and only" syndrome.
11. i love- the strokes on maximum volume, the mars volta in the morning, damien rice at night and karen o's punchy vocals in between. i loathe- my family's remarks "thats not music? thats noise!" 
12. i love- skype. i loathe- connection losts haha.
13. i love- laughing at anything and everything. i loathe- when im the only one laughing or mistaking a serious moment by laughing uncontrollably haha. 
14. i love- watching other people dance, regardless how ridiculous or brilliant they are. i loathe- being peer pressure to join haha. 
15. i love-  perving on handsome strangers. i loathe- when handsome strangers see me perving and i obviously feign and obviously fail haha.
16. i love- liquid eyeliner. i loathe- smudging.
17. i love- blogs. i loathe- the lack of appreciation in reading, writing or taking the time to bask in the creativity, intelligence and randomness of other people in the world.  

love

ps. i love- julian casablancas phrazes for the young. i loathe- how he's married and old haha.

thought # 40- why i envy sarah michelle gellar

because she is married to freddie prinze jr. and yes though he isnt as hunky as he was in his prime my goodness how gorgeous he was! he was the eptiome of late 90s teenage movies and his adorable face and roles which often involved the popular, handsome protagonist who falls for a quirky, unconventional yet also good looking girl is what truly makes you froth. i mean this man even looks good in shiny, baggy, unforgivable attire of the decade. so it wasnt a surprise for me to comment on how ridiculously good looking he was every ten seconds whilst watching "she's all that" with kuan yesterday haha.

on a less superficial note, yesterday's event were spent going around the world with kuan in which we purchased the yeah yeah yeahs album, went into glue and said hello to kuan's lady admirer haha and then went to blacktown in which we visited macy, ate at sushi bay and indulged in purchasing old cheap teenage films which fill us all with nostalgia and youthful euphoria. we returned to his place and watched "she's all that" before arriving back home.

i must say it was a splendid day and all that occured. regardless of susie dogging me on our supposed shopping playdate (haha its ok babe, i still love you!) i was much compensated in kuan's company. well before i self combust due to the immense heat, i shall say goodbye.

love

ps. i know he doesnt look like this anymore but whatever, he'll always be etched in my memory like this haha.

thought # 39- why i adored sydney festival 2010

this is an unconventional thought in that i was intending to recount all that occurred yesterday, and i still intend to do but through the medium that i love doing best... listing haha.

15 things i did which embodied sydney festival 2010.

1. felt relatively genius in asking about how to purchase a train ticket to the city and even smarter to have kuan laugh at my face haha.
2. increased my knowledge in using slrs and felt empowered by taking stalker photographs of strangers and inanimate objects.
3. conversed with my favourites on the way to town hall, received my christmas present from a slack best friend (love you mads haha) and made faces through the reflection of the train window.
4. complained about the heat and was asian by using my umbrella and running (yes, running) towards any possible locus of shade.
5. gorged on water, all day.
6. was peer pressured to sing in the middle of the street whilst watching newly weds perspire and retire into each others arms at st marys cathedral.
7. walked to myer and visiting our lovely dnm grass couch.
8. walked past air conditioned stores and desired nothing more than to be frozen for a moment.
9. took photos on the grass and was abused by those damn subliminal messaged-fuelled anz fans.
10. perved on handsome strangers and reunited with familiar faces.
11. linked arms with mads and kuan as we trekked in search for ice tea.
12. walked through the empty st james station walkway on the way home HAHA
13. ate red rock deli after feeling delirious with hunger.
14. power napped on the train.
15. returned home with a decided mind to repeat this all next year. 

oh what a splendid day. thanks for all who came and made yesterday memorable. next year awaits!

oh and happy birthday to my uncle leslie whose birthday i attended yesterday despite feeling flushed, tired and worn down from the morning's events. nevertheless it was a good day :)

love

ps. at the fountain in hyde park. thanks kuan for the flattering photo haha.

thought #38- hard to remember, easy to forget

if only things in life functioned in accordance to that statement.  if only the things we wanted to not recall were hard to recall and easy to let go. though in reality, it is the complete opposite, and we find ourselves being reminded of life, people, moments and memories spurred out of the most irrelevant, random triggers. in actual fact i dont think we ever "forget" things in life. yes its true, we may not see those people anymore, we may not do those things we once did. we may not associate ourselves with them and we may not find them as an important part of everyday life but we will never forget. as much as we want to, they are embedded in our lives like files in a filing cabinet (haha bruce almighty).

but there is a difference in forgetting and moving on. its possible to move on, its impossible to forget. some people may disagree with this and fair enough but i truly believe it is possible to walk forward into the future with a conscious and deliberate decision to look beyond the present circumstances and the past (be it good or tragic). the more you try to force yourself to "forget" the more you only remember. so its not abnormal to think "why cant i forget?" because its within our innate desire to be relational and keep at heart the things that we do and the people we meet in this lifetime.

so this 2010, stop trying to forget but instead cherish/learn from the past and look towards the prospect of a new year with people, places and moments in life that are easy to remember and hard to forget in the good context of course haha.

love

ps. this has no relevance to the post. i just loved the photo. oh hayden christensen you gorgeous example of humanity haha.

thought # 37- i'm a university admirer

as in i have a feeling ill be one of those sad little nerds who will live, breathe and thrive in the glories of tertiary study and find excitement over lectures, handsome strangers who walk past daily, coffee and lunch dates with old friends and new ones and the liberty of no uniform and hair regulations. i have a feeling i will never really get over the university phase haha.

i can affirm this thought whilst walking through usyd's prodigious campus and feeling utterly at home. poor kuan and mads who had to witness my excitement and share in my jubilation to be at a mock lecture. thank you both for coming with me. i love you my favourites who put up with my nerdy self. regardless if usyd will be my university (for first year anyway) i am beyond excited at finally beginning life after high school and expectant at what this year will birth and bring.

so yesterday's much tiring but splendid day involved meeting with kuan at blacktown, in which we unexpectedly bumped into ced on the way to work. after never finding mads on the train we eventually sighted her at central and began our walk to uts. the straightforward trip was interrupted (on a good note) by the darling josh baissari who was also on his way to uts. after collecting our freebies as is always an advantage, we caught the free bus to syd uni and after momentarily getting lost and shotgunning each other to ask questions, we managed to attend the business lecture and collect information etc.

we went to lunch at a korean bbq thanks to kuan and enjoyed our meal like tourists haha. we waited for the bus to unsw but unfortunately this never arrived and out of boredom, tire and a compulsion to shop and consume gelato we decided to go to town hall and go to qvb. we went to myer and spent a ridiculous amount of time dnming on a couch made of grass... this was without a doubt a highlight of our whole adventure. after mads bought her gelato (relationship therapy) and headed home. after mads left us at westmead, kuan and i continued to blacktown where we had boost and waited for his mother.

after being thankfully dropped off by kuan's mother, i arrived back home with aching legs, much information and my mind decided and set upon which university. hence the conclusion of my day haha. over all the day was splendid, hot, intriguing, educational haha and grand.

love

p.s. once again we should of taken photos!

thought # 36- you don't know what you've got till its gone

this statement rings truth as i sat in church today while robert fergusson was preaching. actually the message wasn't solely based on it but when he mentioned it, i immediately became convicted. i guess especially in this point of life and what has been left dormant or discarded in 2009. you never do realise what you had once possessed, or taken for granted or is so part of the trivial, quotidian routine of life until they disappear and you start to feel the absence.

sometimes the feeling is a relief, an accomplishment, a victory. sometimes its sad and morose like an internal piece of the puzzle, which makes up who you are, is missing. sometimes its frightening because you suddenly have to face existence or something in life alone and without that usual person, thing or guide. but most of the time its hard. whether we were hoping for the day to come in which were expecting liberty or hoping that things would never ever have to turn the way it did. regardless if it was for the best, whether it was mutual, who wanted it or who didnt. relationships, people, things, feelings are all hard to let go.

and its this realisation of when things are suddenly hollow in their presence which is the most convicting. you think about how amazing life was with them/that. you hold onto memories and cherish every little detail that "it" is synonymous with. sometimes i wish it didnt have to take for things to end or go before we can appreciate people and aspects of life. thats why i guess this 2010, i want to do things a little more differently.

i dont want to wait until i've lost something or someone dear to me for me to actually realise how special they are. don't make the mistake of doing so. save yourself the heartache and call friends, remind family, stop in the busyness of life to, just as robert fergusson mentioned today, appreciate beauty. there is such a thin line from something that brings us to our knees in awe to something that is so yesterday. i hope i never think that way about anyone in my life. so forgive me in advance if i sound like a sappy little happy camper but i just want to know what i have and know it for all it's worth when i still have it now. 


love,

ps. i think this maybe an album, im still unsure. the title just made perfect sense for this haha.

thought #35- i want totoro as my neighbour

no offence to the neighbours i currently have. they're pretty great. but nothing compares to a giant bear/monster/animal sort of thing that converses in roars, can take you on a flight in the middle of the night, dances to the growth of trees and has a cat for a bus. sorry but there is no comparison haha. i spent my new years day watching my neighbour totoro if you hadn't already guessed and i must say i enjoyed lazing and recuperating after an eventful new years eve.

before i continue HAPPY NEW YEAR! i am so glad, excited, slightly afraid but expectant for all the experiences, memories and moments that life will bring as the beginning of another decade occurs. 2010 will be a splendid year, i have a good inkling haha. well onto recounting last night. a few of the favourites spent new years at the astle residence and it was great to chatter and see familiar faces once again. after receiving me imported, amazing christmas present from my amazing man jason tam (you have fufilled my dreams of having a large-scaled face of julian casablancas' hanging from my ceiling haha) we responsibly downed some champagne and chardonnay (well responsibly is very relative but i can safely say i was more sober than not this new years! haha) and sat with our "lung killers" by the pool talking about life, love and the future.

after kuan and i dropped the birthday boy, eugene grey, back home and raced back to maddie's before 12. although we missed the countdown we had 30 sec to spare so it was all good. we returned with my two best friends in their "i'm not drunk just tipsy" condition and a poor jason who was left alone with them HAHAHA. kuan and i got a little shut eye before the remainder joined us in maddie's room where slumber was contagious and almost all of us fell asleep (the dog snuggled with me haha). i left around 2:30ish and slept until 1pm, tired, my hands and room smelling suspiciously of smoke but grateful for the events of last year.

i can only hope that 2010 is just as exciting haha. well that was pretty much all that occured. now im awaiting to watch centre stage for the 750927th time and continue in my lazy, quiet and brilliant new years day.

love

p.s. we should have taken pictures :( haha