thought #174- how do you measure a man?

how can you measure how much you're worth to someone? is it by the amount of time they spend with you? the sacrifice and going out of their way to personally lavish and love you? is it by the way they pour themselves out as if your sight makes them want to cut their heart in half and spill lust, love, fear and hope? is it by words, actions, silent adoration?

it's so easy to proclaim and reassure ones self, saying things like sure they love me and of course they'll have my back. but then one ugly moment, hurtful deed, words  suddenly makes you doubt your faith in that so called dedicated person. its so easy to think you know a person that well, you think they value what you once shared or still share, then they press the delete on your existence in their life and forget you. then suddenly you question your worth to that person. sadly, "i thought they loved me" is a common mistake. moral of the story? people will let you down, relationships won't always be as sunshine and lollipops, but honestly if the person you value and prioritise considers you an option, think again. if the person you're contemplating staying with, doesn't see your worth, walk away. assumptions suck. "i thought" always hurts. don't be an idiot and wait for the day when he/she/they say to your face "you don't mean anything to me." there's so much better in store. life awaits.

love, 

thought# 127- who you starting to move like?

Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.

i love that yeah yeah yeah's song, but the point really lies in today's challenge. the picture is not to point out that iphoto has had the most impact on my life but rather the albums within its contents. all the people, objects, words and thoughts found in my albums have played such a large part in formulating who i am today. i really couldn't choose just one person, or one item, or even one memory. they are glued together to create my worldview, my likes, my dislikes, what i am proud of, what i'm not. the people who i have known since birth, to the ones who i just met a few months ago. they all in their small yet significant way have impacted me, to collectively be the biggest impact. some for the better, some for the worse. but irrespective of the impact its been life-changing. they all somewhat orchestrate my being. they somewhat, in their disorientated way, create harmony. life.

love,

thought# 113- i'm a conformist

CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW:

DEAR HUMANITY,  

i have always had a tumblr, but it was only after being inspired by numerous sources have i decided to resurrect it for a purposes other than my own selfish ranting. it's called dear humanity, and it will comprise of short letters to people, one a day. people meaning strangers, friends, lovers and everyone in between. people i know personally, people i stalk privately, people i admire publicly, no one will be ousted from being a subject. so please check it out and if you want a letter merely ask/demand kindly and you will be put on the list (ps. if you want an anonymous/coded letter please state so, theres nothing wrong with a little mystery!)

sorry, due to the day only quota, your letter may take a few days- weeks to appear but nevertheless it will be there and queued so don't be frightened to ask. i hope it makes you smile as you read, as much as it has made me to write.

love,

ps. what my new baby looks like.
pps. don't fear, ill still be using this as my means of personal ranting and rambling. anything regarding wanting to be appreciated should be referred to the tumblr :)

thought #38- hard to remember, easy to forget

if only things in life functioned in accordance to that statement.  if only the things we wanted to not recall were hard to recall and easy to let go. though in reality, it is the complete opposite, and we find ourselves being reminded of life, people, moments and memories spurred out of the most irrelevant, random triggers. in actual fact i dont think we ever "forget" things in life. yes its true, we may not see those people anymore, we may not do those things we once did. we may not associate ourselves with them and we may not find them as an important part of everyday life but we will never forget. as much as we want to, they are embedded in our lives like files in a filing cabinet (haha bruce almighty).

but there is a difference in forgetting and moving on. its possible to move on, its impossible to forget. some people may disagree with this and fair enough but i truly believe it is possible to walk forward into the future with a conscious and deliberate decision to look beyond the present circumstances and the past (be it good or tragic). the more you try to force yourself to "forget" the more you only remember. so its not abnormal to think "why cant i forget?" because its within our innate desire to be relational and keep at heart the things that we do and the people we meet in this lifetime.

so this 2010, stop trying to forget but instead cherish/learn from the past and look towards the prospect of a new year with people, places and moments in life that are easy to remember and hard to forget in the good context of course haha.

love

ps. this has no relevance to the post. i just loved the photo. oh hayden christensen you gorgeous example of humanity haha.