thought #74- not today, not tomorrow

tomorrow i will:

1. awake at not exactly 8:00am. groan, stumble and shower.
2. wait at my bus stop, disguise my fatigue through sunglasses (regardless of the sun or cloud), cringe at old men who slow down their vehicles or beep and curse at the lateness of my bus.
3. board my train from blacktown, fight to get a window seat and simultaneously sleep and brood until i reach strathfield/redfern.
4. attend my marketing tutorial (now without the fear of knowing where i am going). wait at the door momentarily because i am five minutes early and perhaps greet the beautiful, trendy girl who stood next to me last week.
5. power walk from building 5 to 4 whilst eating a form of bar or fruit.
6. attend my marketing lecture. skimming and perving throughout the whole 2hr period. perhaps sit near mr polo and muscles and once again pay no attention.
7. leave university and board a train to town hall. meet up with gracie and chatter about life, love and the regular.
8. enter joh baileys at myer city and finally get my break up hair cut.
9. can either result in fitfulls of tears and regret as i leave in utter disappointment or smile in triumph. HAHA

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

10. forget how shit you make me feel, ignore my patheticness, feign i don't care for the 9597590475th time. move on.

love,

ps. i rediscovered this randomly on my own computer. circa 2008. the cleopatra wig haha. 

thought #38- hard to remember, easy to forget

if only things in life functioned in accordance to that statement.  if only the things we wanted to not recall were hard to recall and easy to let go. though in reality, it is the complete opposite, and we find ourselves being reminded of life, people, moments and memories spurred out of the most irrelevant, random triggers. in actual fact i dont think we ever "forget" things in life. yes its true, we may not see those people anymore, we may not do those things we once did. we may not associate ourselves with them and we may not find them as an important part of everyday life but we will never forget. as much as we want to, they are embedded in our lives like files in a filing cabinet (haha bruce almighty).

but there is a difference in forgetting and moving on. its possible to move on, its impossible to forget. some people may disagree with this and fair enough but i truly believe it is possible to walk forward into the future with a conscious and deliberate decision to look beyond the present circumstances and the past (be it good or tragic). the more you try to force yourself to "forget" the more you only remember. so its not abnormal to think "why cant i forget?" because its within our innate desire to be relational and keep at heart the things that we do and the people we meet in this lifetime.

so this 2010, stop trying to forget but instead cherish/learn from the past and look towards the prospect of a new year with people, places and moments in life that are easy to remember and hard to forget in the good context of course haha.

love

ps. this has no relevance to the post. i just loved the photo. oh hayden christensen you gorgeous example of humanity haha.