thought #75- reverse psychology

i think my life literally operates by this theory. i dont think its just a matter of the mind or is limited to chance or coincidence... life is riddled by reverse psychology. i have come to this conclusion through many years of close observations and patterns of existence especially relating to relationships and the perplexing subject of the male species. everytime im slightly more keen, ready, willing to explore a relationship, expectant and secretly thinking to myself "ok, unknown mr. right for me, i'm ready to be found now!" is when no one arrives. its as if all men have deliberately retreated or been sucked in by a black hole or are utterly ka-chh (the sound of whips) by other gorgeous girls who came earlier and charmed the pants off the gorgeous men you thought you perhaps had an iota of a chance with (no matter pathetic and uncalculated you based your fancies upon). then when you are in no position to be given fragments of your heart away, when you do not desire to be tied down to the committed and the potential drama that comes with having a romantic relationship, then they all suddenly appear. perhaps only to torment you at the saddening reality that just because timing is not correct... you will leave this season alone and single and back to square one.

what a vicious cycle. and yes it is a bitch and great big kick in the gonads. but reverse psychology believe it or not may not be fun or appealing or lovely or convenient at the time but have you ever paused to think that... maybe this reverse psychology is a test of building who you are. your character, your ability, your trust and faith? perhaps it is in this taunting game of singleness and the encounters which leave us bruised and abused that we are being refined to withstand and deal with relationships in the future?

i truly agree with the statement that "you know you're ready for a relationship when you've learnt to be single." i think one can only truly value and give wholeheartedly to another once they know what they're giving to others. you must find who you are and who you were called and created to be as an individual loner before you go off trying to collect hearts and piece your own with others in the hope of creating a complete picture of satisfaction and love. its useless to find love if you don't know what it is.

so i guess no matter how shitty reverse psychology can make you feel. its for your own good haha.
oh and btw the hair cut when great. i love crops now. i dont even care about enduring boy jokes, as long as it cuts my morning preparations and allows me to leave the house without use of a blow dryer i am fantastically blessed HAHA oh and colour is going off! tomorrow is the last day already :( but so far the feminine heart is being amplified this weekend! i love the sisterhood :)

love,