thought # 41- loathe and love

im being a copycat and jumping on the bandwagon of my dear friends eleanor clark and jason tam and combining their love and hate list into one haha.

17 things i love and loathe

1. i love- planning playdates. i loathe- when the playdate participants call fifteen minutes before with a trivial excuse of not going haha.
   
2. i love- jelly belly 50 flavour trays. i loathe- the sickening feeling after consumption in which it feels like your mouth has been fixated in a pot of honey. 
3. i love- shopping. i loathe- the empty wallet and the failure that is synonymous with "saving."
4. i love- the evolution of technology. i loathe- getting capped, things lagging and disconnecting, free midday television shows.
5. i love- the beach and city adventures. i loathe- the lack of shade, turning two shades darker and getting another sprinkle of freckles to the face.
6. i love- my favourites. i loathe- that im often too busy to see them these days.
7. i love- my macbook. i loathe- nothing about it haha oh maybe that it gets hot quite easily.
8. i love- london and europe. i loathe- that i haven't visited it yet.
9. i love- air conditioning on scorching days such as today. i loathe- the annoying sound of my next door neighbour's air conditioning which runs 24/7. 
10. i love- being an only child. i loathe- "the my baby forever" or "my one and only" syndrome.
11. i love- the strokes on maximum volume, the mars volta in the morning, damien rice at night and karen o's punchy vocals in between. i loathe- my family's remarks "thats not music? thats noise!" 
12. i love- skype. i loathe- connection losts haha.
13. i love- laughing at anything and everything. i loathe- when im the only one laughing or mistaking a serious moment by laughing uncontrollably haha. 
14. i love- watching other people dance, regardless how ridiculous or brilliant they are. i loathe- being peer pressure to join haha. 
15. i love-  perving on handsome strangers. i loathe- when handsome strangers see me perving and i obviously feign and obviously fail haha.
16. i love- liquid eyeliner. i loathe- smudging.
17. i love- blogs. i loathe- the lack of appreciation in reading, writing or taking the time to bask in the creativity, intelligence and randomness of other people in the world.  

love

ps. i love- julian casablancas phrazes for the young. i loathe- how he's married and old haha.

thought # 40- why i envy sarah michelle gellar

because she is married to freddie prinze jr. and yes though he isnt as hunky as he was in his prime my goodness how gorgeous he was! he was the eptiome of late 90s teenage movies and his adorable face and roles which often involved the popular, handsome protagonist who falls for a quirky, unconventional yet also good looking girl is what truly makes you froth. i mean this man even looks good in shiny, baggy, unforgivable attire of the decade. so it wasnt a surprise for me to comment on how ridiculously good looking he was every ten seconds whilst watching "she's all that" with kuan yesterday haha.

on a less superficial note, yesterday's event were spent going around the world with kuan in which we purchased the yeah yeah yeahs album, went into glue and said hello to kuan's lady admirer haha and then went to blacktown in which we visited macy, ate at sushi bay and indulged in purchasing old cheap teenage films which fill us all with nostalgia and youthful euphoria. we returned to his place and watched "she's all that" before arriving back home.

i must say it was a splendid day and all that occured. regardless of susie dogging me on our supposed shopping playdate (haha its ok babe, i still love you!) i was much compensated in kuan's company. well before i self combust due to the immense heat, i shall say goodbye.

love

ps. i know he doesnt look like this anymore but whatever, he'll always be etched in my memory like this haha.

thought # 39- why i adored sydney festival 2010

this is an unconventional thought in that i was intending to recount all that occurred yesterday, and i still intend to do but through the medium that i love doing best... listing haha.

15 things i did which embodied sydney festival 2010.

1. felt relatively genius in asking about how to purchase a train ticket to the city and even smarter to have kuan laugh at my face haha.
2. increased my knowledge in using slrs and felt empowered by taking stalker photographs of strangers and inanimate objects.
3. conversed with my favourites on the way to town hall, received my christmas present from a slack best friend (love you mads haha) and made faces through the reflection of the train window.
4. complained about the heat and was asian by using my umbrella and running (yes, running) towards any possible locus of shade.
5. gorged on water, all day.
6. was peer pressured to sing in the middle of the street whilst watching newly weds perspire and retire into each others arms at st marys cathedral.
7. walked to myer and visiting our lovely dnm grass couch.
8. walked past air conditioned stores and desired nothing more than to be frozen for a moment.
9. took photos on the grass and was abused by those damn subliminal messaged-fuelled anz fans.
10. perved on handsome strangers and reunited with familiar faces.
11. linked arms with mads and kuan as we trekked in search for ice tea.
12. walked through the empty st james station walkway on the way home HAHA
13. ate red rock deli after feeling delirious with hunger.
14. power napped on the train.
15. returned home with a decided mind to repeat this all next year. 

oh what a splendid day. thanks for all who came and made yesterday memorable. next year awaits!

oh and happy birthday to my uncle leslie whose birthday i attended yesterday despite feeling flushed, tired and worn down from the morning's events. nevertheless it was a good day :)

love

ps. at the fountain in hyde park. thanks kuan for the flattering photo haha.

thought #38- hard to remember, easy to forget

if only things in life functioned in accordance to that statement.  if only the things we wanted to not recall were hard to recall and easy to let go. though in reality, it is the complete opposite, and we find ourselves being reminded of life, people, moments and memories spurred out of the most irrelevant, random triggers. in actual fact i dont think we ever "forget" things in life. yes its true, we may not see those people anymore, we may not do those things we once did. we may not associate ourselves with them and we may not find them as an important part of everyday life but we will never forget. as much as we want to, they are embedded in our lives like files in a filing cabinet (haha bruce almighty).

but there is a difference in forgetting and moving on. its possible to move on, its impossible to forget. some people may disagree with this and fair enough but i truly believe it is possible to walk forward into the future with a conscious and deliberate decision to look beyond the present circumstances and the past (be it good or tragic). the more you try to force yourself to "forget" the more you only remember. so its not abnormal to think "why cant i forget?" because its within our innate desire to be relational and keep at heart the things that we do and the people we meet in this lifetime.

so this 2010, stop trying to forget but instead cherish/learn from the past and look towards the prospect of a new year with people, places and moments in life that are easy to remember and hard to forget in the good context of course haha.

love

ps. this has no relevance to the post. i just loved the photo. oh hayden christensen you gorgeous example of humanity haha.

thought # 37- i'm a university admirer

as in i have a feeling ill be one of those sad little nerds who will live, breathe and thrive in the glories of tertiary study and find excitement over lectures, handsome strangers who walk past daily, coffee and lunch dates with old friends and new ones and the liberty of no uniform and hair regulations. i have a feeling i will never really get over the university phase haha.

i can affirm this thought whilst walking through usyd's prodigious campus and feeling utterly at home. poor kuan and mads who had to witness my excitement and share in my jubilation to be at a mock lecture. thank you both for coming with me. i love you my favourites who put up with my nerdy self. regardless if usyd will be my university (for first year anyway) i am beyond excited at finally beginning life after high school and expectant at what this year will birth and bring.

so yesterday's much tiring but splendid day involved meeting with kuan at blacktown, in which we unexpectedly bumped into ced on the way to work. after never finding mads on the train we eventually sighted her at central and began our walk to uts. the straightforward trip was interrupted (on a good note) by the darling josh baissari who was also on his way to uts. after collecting our freebies as is always an advantage, we caught the free bus to syd uni and after momentarily getting lost and shotgunning each other to ask questions, we managed to attend the business lecture and collect information etc.

we went to lunch at a korean bbq thanks to kuan and enjoyed our meal like tourists haha. we waited for the bus to unsw but unfortunately this never arrived and out of boredom, tire and a compulsion to shop and consume gelato we decided to go to town hall and go to qvb. we went to myer and spent a ridiculous amount of time dnming on a couch made of grass... this was without a doubt a highlight of our whole adventure. after mads bought her gelato (relationship therapy) and headed home. after mads left us at westmead, kuan and i continued to blacktown where we had boost and waited for his mother.

after being thankfully dropped off by kuan's mother, i arrived back home with aching legs, much information and my mind decided and set upon which university. hence the conclusion of my day haha. over all the day was splendid, hot, intriguing, educational haha and grand.

love

p.s. once again we should of taken photos!

thought # 36- you don't know what you've got till its gone

this statement rings truth as i sat in church today while robert fergusson was preaching. actually the message wasn't solely based on it but when he mentioned it, i immediately became convicted. i guess especially in this point of life and what has been left dormant or discarded in 2009. you never do realise what you had once possessed, or taken for granted or is so part of the trivial, quotidian routine of life until they disappear and you start to feel the absence.

sometimes the feeling is a relief, an accomplishment, a victory. sometimes its sad and morose like an internal piece of the puzzle, which makes up who you are, is missing. sometimes its frightening because you suddenly have to face existence or something in life alone and without that usual person, thing or guide. but most of the time its hard. whether we were hoping for the day to come in which were expecting liberty or hoping that things would never ever have to turn the way it did. regardless if it was for the best, whether it was mutual, who wanted it or who didnt. relationships, people, things, feelings are all hard to let go.

and its this realisation of when things are suddenly hollow in their presence which is the most convicting. you think about how amazing life was with them/that. you hold onto memories and cherish every little detail that "it" is synonymous with. sometimes i wish it didnt have to take for things to end or go before we can appreciate people and aspects of life. thats why i guess this 2010, i want to do things a little more differently.

i dont want to wait until i've lost something or someone dear to me for me to actually realise how special they are. don't make the mistake of doing so. save yourself the heartache and call friends, remind family, stop in the busyness of life to, just as robert fergusson mentioned today, appreciate beauty. there is such a thin line from something that brings us to our knees in awe to something that is so yesterday. i hope i never think that way about anyone in my life. so forgive me in advance if i sound like a sappy little happy camper but i just want to know what i have and know it for all it's worth when i still have it now. 


love,

ps. i think this maybe an album, im still unsure. the title just made perfect sense for this haha.

thought #35- i want totoro as my neighbour

no offence to the neighbours i currently have. they're pretty great. but nothing compares to a giant bear/monster/animal sort of thing that converses in roars, can take you on a flight in the middle of the night, dances to the growth of trees and has a cat for a bus. sorry but there is no comparison haha. i spent my new years day watching my neighbour totoro if you hadn't already guessed and i must say i enjoyed lazing and recuperating after an eventful new years eve.

before i continue HAPPY NEW YEAR! i am so glad, excited, slightly afraid but expectant for all the experiences, memories and moments that life will bring as the beginning of another decade occurs. 2010 will be a splendid year, i have a good inkling haha. well onto recounting last night. a few of the favourites spent new years at the astle residence and it was great to chatter and see familiar faces once again. after receiving me imported, amazing christmas present from my amazing man jason tam (you have fufilled my dreams of having a large-scaled face of julian casablancas' hanging from my ceiling haha) we responsibly downed some champagne and chardonnay (well responsibly is very relative but i can safely say i was more sober than not this new years! haha) and sat with our "lung killers" by the pool talking about life, love and the future.

after kuan and i dropped the birthday boy, eugene grey, back home and raced back to maddie's before 12. although we missed the countdown we had 30 sec to spare so it was all good. we returned with my two best friends in their "i'm not drunk just tipsy" condition and a poor jason who was left alone with them HAHAHA. kuan and i got a little shut eye before the remainder joined us in maddie's room where slumber was contagious and almost all of us fell asleep (the dog snuggled with me haha). i left around 2:30ish and slept until 1pm, tired, my hands and room smelling suspiciously of smoke but grateful for the events of last year.

i can only hope that 2010 is just as exciting haha. well that was pretty much all that occured. now im awaiting to watch centre stage for the 750927th time and continue in my lazy, quiet and brilliant new years day.

love

p.s. we should have taken pictures :( haha