thought #115- i'm getting over you.

the twelve step guide on how to get over that person/animal/inanimate object.

step one: find every memory affiliated with that person/animal/inanimate object. permission is given to weep, become nostalgic, listen to cheesedick love songs and brood during this process. 

step two: delete and discard found memories expect for the one memory that reminds you of them the most. 

step three: take that memory and either give it to a trustworthy friend, place it in a chest and give the key to a trustworthy friend. find any effective means of removing this memory from your sight and possession to someone you know will not cave in and give you it back when you're screaming from the other end of a telephone line. 

step four: write three letters (length is not salient). title each "dear past you" "dear present you" and "dear future you" respectively. do not forget to add your goodbyes and goals of "getting over."

step five: purchase wine and create a bonfire. invite best friends. 

step six: read aloud "dear past you" do not record this moment. there must not be another memory created in the process of eradicating another memory. 

step seven: tear and burn "dear past you." in bonfire. celebrate with favourite music and more wine. 

step eight: stick "dear present you" on ceiling or wherever you will constantly see it. seal "dear future you" in an envelope and write "do not open until 2015" (or five years from writing letter). 

step nine: lie in bed for half the day. permission to grieve again. alcohol is also permitted. you may NOT write anything about them while this is happening.

step ten: take a walk outside or do something solitary but what you find personally enjoyable.

step eleven: give it time. refrain from speaking or communicating or being in contact with that person/animal/inanimate object until you are in the right state of mind and emotion to do so. 

step twelve: call trustworthy friend and give them the signal "i'm ready to be free." this will indicate to the trustworthy friend that he/she is able to rip THAT final existing memory or throw it away. ps. if you're feeling especially nasty, trustworthy friend may even send the final memory to person/animal/inanimate object.

i dont know if this would ever work in real life. i think its more of a fictional prose then a real life guide. but be free to be my guest and try. drinks on me if it actually does. 

love,

ps. talk about public break up? HAHA