thought #117- selective amnesia.

i kind of wish i had selective amnesia, then i would remember you for who you were. not for who you weren't. i kind of wish i had a mechanical heart, one that only i could operate and switch on and off at the sight of handsome strangers and malfunctions. i kind of wish i had x-ray vision, then i could see your heart and motives before letting you in. i kind of wish i had an inbuilt bullshit metre, then i could distinguish the truth from flattery. i kind of wish i had a timer, to let me know who was meant for me, in confidence. i kind   of wish i had a permanently pursed lip, to refrain myself from saying stupid things and scaring you away. i kind of wish meeting people, falling in love, realising it was lust, saying goodbye and learning to move on wasn't the vicious cycle that it really is. 

i can't blame the bitter souls. i don't want to be a hopeless romantic. but neither do i want to be cynical. there has to be more than this routine formulation of adoration. 

love,

ps. cute haha.