thought #105- in denial

i admit that i am blunt, i admit that i usually say things i shouldn't out loud and keep to myself things i should. i admit that i am weird, i admit that i often prefer silence and solitude than a sea of pointless participation. i admit that i am selfish, i admit that i am overtly perplexing. i admit that i am one of those annoying people who feign life is fine when it really isn't. i admit even i occasionally fool myself. i admit i am hesitant, i admit i am frustrated, i admit i don't know anymore and still try to summon the courage everyday to ask you if you perhaps do. i admit that i have innumerable shortcomings as a christian, daughter, lover, friend and stranger. i admit that i am foolish, immature and temperamental at times. i admit i am careless, restless and very passive towards responsibility. i admit i sometimes internally curse how my heart behaves. i admit i don't always do as i'm told. i admit i actually care. i admit i skip meals. i admit i have bad religiously abused habits. i admit i hate feeling helpless. i admit i take things for granted. i admit i'm not strong. i admit that i have a book form of my mind. i admit that i have insomniac tendencies. i admit that i do like the feeling of being needed and appreciated. i admit i like cuddling. i admit i hate being ignored. i admit i loathe not knowing the answer or the solution. i admit i dont fancy my legs. i admit that i am slightly picky. i admit i can be superficial sometimes but you need to understand the profoundness first. i admit i like being single if it means i'm not in a relationship with the wrong person. i admit i give in too easily. i admit i suck at physical exercise. i admit i don't appreciate "no comments." i admit it takes time for me to forgive and forget. i admit that i don't get over things as easily or as quickly as desired. i admit i am bipolar. i admit i, as much as i hate to, regret. i admit that failure is frightening. i admit that i can be hypocritical sometimes. i admit i am human.

love,

ps. i think i may have just told the whole world my ugly human weaknesses. oh well, at least its honest.