thought #246- twenty-something (part 2)

now enough of my emotional divulging and onto my favourite part. the material wishlist haha. in retrospect i really wish i bought more things in europe. but of course first priorities weren't shopping but instead $$$ was spent on taxi rides to uni, bottle upon bottle of moscato and all the cheeky trips. i definitely don't regret this, although it has left me with a burning hole in my pocket, an overused wardrobe and a desire to start over (figuratively and literally speaking). i've actually considered the contents of this wishlist carefully. it indeed is more exxy than past wishlists but i believe turning 21 calls for a level of adulthood and thus requires finer but staple objects that will last longer than a trend or season.

10 things i need to be 21

1. comme de garcon cardigan in black. this is a staple that will never grow old. besides 100% wool ensures functionality and fashion. the beige twin is equally endearing but i still can't seem to shake the black away from my wardrobe.

2.  basic tees. i really only want four sorts, black, white, grey and striped. i highly fancy this white comme version . the rest that is causing me to salivate includes this cute alexander wang striped crop, acne's cotton melange relaxed fit tee, and bassike's vintage crew neck in black.

3. the everyday bag. since it's a wishlist i can technically wish. i am so in love with the saint laurent black leather tote bag. saint laurent is everything i could want in a brand. classic, sophisticated, dark and simple. just like that bag. completely understated but you know it's no cheap bitch.

4. new sunglasses. digging these karen walker the number one sunnies. i'm not a big sunnies fan but these are quirky, cute, good shape and i won't get sick of them that easily.

5. denim dungarees. i am a big fan of overalls. i just can't seem to find a pair that fits perfectly. its either loose at the waist, or bulging so it looks like i have a giant vagina or something haha. this could potential be a vintage find.

6. socks and kicks. these new balance 996's are beautiful. i also don't mind these adidas gazelles but i just can't stop frothing over those new balances. in terms of socks i just need nice basic crew ones and a nice pendelton-esque black navaho looking pair. just anything that doesn't look like i've stolen my dad's socks... which is usually the case ha

7. the everyday boots. i've already had these cheap monday boots which i brought along with me to europe and murdered with my excessive usage. i love them, they're comfy, have the right height and go with absolutely everything under the sun. i definitely need another pair. also loving these opening ceremony grunge booties. but seriously the cheap mondays. i need them back in my life.

8. splendour tickets this would evidently make my tumultuous- i haven't really decided if i like this year or not- 2013. it only has mumford and sons and frank ocean plus many more swoon worthy people playing. fingers crossed i can work around the minor hiccup of being in the phils haha

9. new ink. well money for new ink really. i'm getting antsy for a bit of needlework. as i always seem to do.

10. a new job. that i love and will get me out of the country, so i can be in europe and not so depressed about the current condition of my existence. please Lord. thanks.


love,

thought #239- Twenteen

i honestly cannot believe that in two and a bit days i will graduate from adolescence (numerically, don't know about in maturity or physical measures) and turn 20. am i excited? not particularly. but the aging process is inevitable and i guess i just have to be hopeful and optimistic about things the way i was at the start of 2012. i guess the whole confirmation of finally becoming a member of the 20's club just makes me even more daunted by my future and the thought of actually needing to get my shit together. in retrospect, the young, naive and former abi was really expecting too much from the now, older and maybe a little wiser abi of today. but that doesn't mean i've abandoned all hope and plans and dreams. there is still so much to be done. i can only hope and pray that i will be taken by where He leads and to stop acting so juvenile as i have lately. anyway i actually wasn't here to write a moody and brooding farewell to my teenage years (i'll probably do that on the day before my bday haha) i actually wanted to share me gift wishlist. another part of my juvenile practices that i seem to never get past. i've always made wishlists for every birthday and christmas and i guess this tradition won't be ceasing until maybe 30 when i realise i should stop being so selfish haha.

the birthday wishlist

• funkis clogs. i surprisingly didn't get a pair for christmas so maybe i'll be fortunate this time around. currently lusting over the high plait sandal pair in natural or the very high clog in grey (mainly because it's the only styles i don't have yet haha).
• and more shoes. since i rarely buy shoes, mainly because of my impossibly suitable feet, when i finally desire something, it comes in masses. my top selections (but not limited to this) include: 

• hunter orignal short classic gumboots in black (size 7) (i need these),
• mollini fragile wedges in black size 37 (divine!)
• acne pistol short booties (size 7) but since i'm more realistic i'll settle for something like these asos boots or sole society boots from the iconic (size 38)
• Cheap Monday Kloss Horse Peep Toe Boots in black (size 7)  (so in love)
•  vans lo pro black leather (size 7.5 i think?)
• converse all star embossed leather hi cut chucks in black (size 7) (i have an affinity for leather shoes as you can see).   

• vlieger and vandam guardian angel soft l black tote . i've technically already got the $$ to buy this but it's current sold out status has made me rather upset. i guess i'll just have to be patient until mid april... zzz
• Herschel Market Tote Bag cute little uni/day bag. 
• a new wallet. i am in desperate need of a new wallet. but this time round i actually don't want a real wallet, in a sense i'm not after those bulky space filling abominations. i'd rather have a small almost pouch like version, especially when i just want to abandon my bag and rid myself of growing posture pains. i'm tossing up between a cute comme de garcons, classic prada, ever in love acne, minimalist celine or edgey wang... or one of each could work too haha
• karen walker number six sunglasses  i have been dying to have these for ages now haha
• and a fuck load of clothing. especially winter. bring on the beanies, trench coats, cute knits, floral pants and everything in between.
• skins season 1-5 (the box set i saw at hum on king at newtown) is a must! 
• a boyfriend 

the last one not really (unless you're of that generosity hahaha). but i guess all this materiality will never compare to the gratefulness and blessings that twenty years on this earth has been. i can only give thanks to the Creator and hope that the next twenty will just go from strength to strength.

love,
 

thought #198- a little older and a little less wiser

so my birthday was one lacking in extravagance but it contained all the elements i needed to have a good time- friends, booze and a bathtub. after meeting up with sam, we checked into the cambridge hotel for the evening, got ready and met the rest of the beloved crew at the beresford. after much intoxication we relocated to oxford arts, bumping into chris, grinding with strangers and almost getting kicked out due to my giddy behaviour in the process. soon the rain started to descend upon us and after failing to quite meet up with my SG girls, we returned to the warmth and quiet of the hotel room. still mildly scattered, we stripped in the tub, chatted and sipped tea, momentarily seeing chris and friends once again. after their short and sweet appearance, we attempted to sleep. my sleep was not at all comforting and much of the night was spent shivering and chundering. after we woke,  we visited the goods cafe for some hearty hangover helping saturday brunch. mads and i accompanied ben and eugene on an oxford st. shopping spree, casually grabbing a beer and trying our luck at the pokies on the way (we failed miserably). after we rode on the train back to parramatta, stopping off for a hot choc fix at max brenner before parting ways. my saturday night concluded with a meal at outback with the familia. and thus concludes the recount of my big night. no biggie

love,

thought #197- one year younger.

i promise i will elaborate on the festivities of the nineteenth and the more serious matters running through my system but i'll leave it be for now because i have an exam tomorrow and all i really want to do is complete a nonsensical quiz (regards to my cousin). typical.

NAME: abigail ann cruz
AGE: 19
BIRTHDATE: april 15 1992
PRESENT ADDRESS: sydney, Australia

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage = ocean's fresh classic cranberry
2. last phone call = dad
3. last text message = eleanor
 4. last song you listened to =postmodern girls- the strokes ft. regina spektor
5. last time you cried = don't judge me (and i blame it strongly on the hangover and my overtly emotional condition) but it was while watching a repeat of definitely, maybe.
  
HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone twice = no
7. been cheated on = yes and no
8. kissed someone & regretted it = yes
9. lost someone special = indeed
10. been depressed = yes
11. been drunk and threw up = yes, i'm a bit of a chunderer.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. monochrome
13. beige
14. yellow

LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend = yes
16. Fallen out of love = no
17. Laughed until you cried = yes
18. Met someone who changed you = definitely
19. Found out who your true friends were = yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you = no
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = yes

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = majority, i'm in the process of deleting strangers.
24. Do you have any pets = no
25. Do you want to change your name = not really, i see no point
26. What did you do for your last birthday = friday = bathtubs, rain, wine, awkward encounters, birthday kisses and 6am chunder.
27. What time did you wake up today= 7, late as usual.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = watching love actually haha
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = to graduate, find the man of my dreams, travel and move out. 
 30. Last time you saw your Mother = was today
 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = i dont know
32. What are you listening to right now = nothing
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?=yes
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = it's a long story
35. Most visited webpage = facebook
37. Nickname = abi, abs, babs,
38. Relationship Status = single 
39. Zodiac sign = aries
40. He or She = she
41. Elementary = toongabbie christian school
42. High School = toongabbie christian school
43. College = UTS
44. Hair color = dark dark brown
45. Long or short = mid length
46. Height = towards the shorter half
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = god, it's complicated
48. What do you like about yourself? = my social awkwardness
50. Tattoos= uno
51. Righty or lefty=righty

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery= nothing yet
53. First piercing = ears
54. First best friend = edwina or rachel
55. First sport you joined = sport? such a foreign concept
56. First vacation = usa
58. First pair of trainers =i don't even remember

RIGHT NOW:

 59. Eating = nothing
60. Drinking = nothing
61. I'm about to=do a little casual creeping, read some blogs then try to go to bed
62. Listening to = nothing
63. Waiting for = tomorrow

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? = yes 2, a boy and a girl
 65. Get Married? = yes hopefully
66. Career? = somewhere along the legal/corporate field. but who knows i might do something totally out of whack.

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes = eyes
68. Hugs or kisses= hugs
69. Shorter or taller = taller
70. Older or Younger = older
71. Romantic or spontaneous = both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = both
 73. Sensitive or loud = both
74. Hook-up or relationship =relationship unless circumstances call for a hook-up.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger = kind of
77. Drank hard liquor = yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts = no
79. Sex on first date = fuck no.
80. Broke someone's heart =unintentionally
81. Had your own heart broken = yes 
82. Been arrested = no
83. Turned someone down = yes
84. Cried when someone died= yes
85. Fallen for a friend = yes, sigh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself = at times
87. Miracles = definitely
88. Love at first sight =lust
89. Heaven = yes
 90. Santa Claus = no
91. Kiss on the first date =depends
92. Angels = yes.

love,

thought #195- birthday wishlist

some require the discovery of a money tree in my backyard or punching a hole through heaven but nevertheless here goes the lust list.

1. 3.1 Philip Lim 'X-cellent' Platform Sandal i lust, i pine. these babies are amazing. i am currently in love with flatforms and although some despise the chunky, nanna height of these mutilated love child of flats and platforms i can't get enough. honestly, i'll settle for imitation or a similar pair.

2. Alexander Wang Claudia Booties in Black gorge. i wouldn't mind lace up booties without an open toe or the desert boots with the wedge. for practicality reasons.

3. AIDEN Black Zip Front Ankle Boots something similar to this. a comfy, riding style boot. my first delicious pair was from topshop too so its no surprise that i still love them. these puppies last forever!

4. Opening Ceremony Pony Ankle Boot Clog i would probably wear something like this literally until the soles are replaced with my bare foot skin. i saw they have a payless version of this. i dont mind the downgrade as long as it does the job!

5. Yves Saint Laurent Arty Too 5-karat gold-plated ring size five probably won't fit but i'm willing to staple this gorgeous jewel to my index if i have to.

6. Mulberry Tillie leather shoulder bag i don't really need it. but it couldn't hurt. i'll also settle for a similar mimco.

7. Alexander McQueen Brass Swarovski crystal skull and butterfly ring um froth.

8. MARC BY MARC JACOBS 'Amy' Leather Strap Watch how orgasmic is this watch? it honestly can do no wrong. i mean i adore my DKNY one but it lacks the practicalities of an everyday watch.

9. American Apparel Voucher i'm in need of stocking some basics especially pantaloons. ive noticed that most of my wishlist compromises of shoes and accessories but i wouldnt mind some loving from acne, bassike and zimmerman.

10. Daria: The Complete Animated Series (DVD, 2010, 8-Disc Set) wouldn't mind box sets of skins, degrassi the next gen, sailor moon and the science of sleep. you know me, dvd whore.

and so completes my very materialistic wishlist. i know its extravagant. i may get them all or none or some or imitations. just as long as i turn nineteen and im not dead then im more than blessed.

love,

thought #85- eighteen

is a brilliant number, a brilliant age. despite being congested and sore from the 97409273 tissues ive stuck inside my nose today, i must firstly say thank you to all the splendid people who sent messages, comments and other forms of love for my birthday! i am truly overwhelmed and blessed. my day was a concoction of mediocrity and firsts. my day began with being sandwiched on an all stops train to hornsby next to some largely sized man who was sitting on half me (literally) haha. in my politeness i let this pass haha.
second i met up with my darling best friend madeleine in which we had a coffee and caught up on the progress of our lives. i left to my accounting lecture- in which the desire to blow my nose innumerably taunted me horribly.

second, mai and gerry took me to the hotel/pub adjacent from uts in which i had two shots. this resulted in a momentary period of giddiness and dizzying verve haha. gerry and i printed my assignment and then had a quick lunch in which i attempted to complete the accounting homework (which was not collected this week, THANK THE LORD) then went off to say hello to chris at the insearch building. we quickly said hello before departing ways, mine to my tutorial and gerry home. tutorial was a slight droll and i spent most of my time starring at the time then actually paying much attention to what i believe will be critical information on the accounting exam *sigh.* after tute, chris and i saw each other again and had an "interesting" beer haha. it actually wasnt all that bad. though it did make me cringe internally, just a little haha. i returned back home and went din din with the family to conclude the festivities of the night.

and when i returned home, there sat the teal bag in which every girl secretly swoons at seeing. a beautiful tiffany and co. bracelet was within its contents and i almost burst out in jubilation. oh how i love my parents. now for saturday to come, i am so excited! it shall be splendid :) just this terrible cold, please go away. and im praying that the exams will not completely slaughter my attempts at getting a credit-distinction average hahahaha.

ah how i adore being eighteen.
with much thanks and greater love,

ps. can someone PLEASE make a picture of my face using shots and we'll drink it all for my nineteenth? haha this is bloody genius haha

thought # 34- merry christmas!

and happy birthday jesus! i'm going to keep this entry relatively short. actually that's an overstatement. tonight's entry will only be eight sentences long. so before i run out of space, due to my verbosity, let me greet you all a merry christmas and i do hope this festive, yuletide season was delightful in every way, shape and form. i hope the presents you subtly hinted many months ago became a reality, that you felt complete in the company of merry family and second cousins from usa who unexpectedly arrived for a short lived holiday and most of all were reminded of the greatest gift given to us thousands of years ago- jesus!

now i cannot wait for new years to arrive and i am so excited for 2010 and all the wonders and surprises it will bestow for all of us. now before i explode after gorging my little heart out today, i must say goodnight and once again wish everyone a beautiful and blessed CHRISTmas!

love

p.s. another self advertising spiel before i conclude... its the last one for 2009 :) enjoy my lovely regular supporters and new friends who randomly find it haha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-0k8SBpf
oc 

thought # 12- if i was a lesbian

i would froth over ruby rose, heck the fact is i'm straight and already do. i had a dream about her last night, hence the inspiration for this stalker-like fan dedication regarding this beautiful woman. the dream involved myself attempting to sing a song for ruby on the occassion of her birthday party, however, pamela anderson was in the way and constantly trying to hog the mic (i believe she was drunk). it was comical but i think i was in awe of ruby to even care.  i must say i woke up a happy woman. there is really something about that girl. perhaps its the way she conveys a carefree, sophisticated, sultry, trendy yet unconventional aura. beyond the fact that she is gorgeous physically and i love every inch of her including her tattooed sleeve and bleached pixie which most people would look shit and try- hard, she exudes a ferocity and is comical and witty- traits girls would love to adopt and men wish that more women had haha (i am just being honest, i dont think i even make the cut). nevertheless one day i wish to meet her in person, and explode internally and attempt to hold my tounge and not gush out at how amazing she is haha.

onto another point, today was a scorcher, which i personally found appealing since yesterday's weather wanted you to pop 79257 pills and lie in your bed whilst awaiting for the side effects to corrode your body (haha im kidding, just being dramatic). i must say i engaged in productive activity, cleaning my room and sorting through the piles of ancient paraphernalia, report cards, love letters etc. tomorrow i am excited to be celebrating one of my dear friends and sister's of bonds stronger than blood birthday for dinner. it has been awhile so i am beyond excited. well before my face explodes and my limbs turn into a roasted dinner (because my room is the hottest in summer, coldest in winter, loudest all year round GRR!) i shall be off.

love

p.s. i'd like to try that someday (thanks danise).