some require the discovery of a money tree in my backyard or punching a hole through heaven but nevertheless here goes the lust list.
1. 3.1 Philip Lim 'X-cellent' Platform Sandal i lust, i pine. these babies are amazing. i am currently in love with flatforms and although some despise the chunky, nanna height of these mutilated love child of flats and platforms i can't get enough. honestly, i'll settle for imitation or a similar pair.
2. Alexander Wang Claudia Booties in Black gorge. i wouldn't mind lace up booties without an open toe or the desert boots with the wedge. for practicality reasons.
3. AIDEN Black Zip Front Ankle Boots something similar to this. a comfy, riding style boot. my first delicious pair was from topshop too so its no surprise that i still love them. these puppies last forever!
4. Opening Ceremony Pony Ankle Boot Clog i would probably wear something like this literally until the soles are replaced with my bare foot skin. i saw they have a payless version of this. i dont mind the downgrade as long as it does the job!
5. Yves Saint Laurent Arty Too 5-karat gold-plated ring size five probably won't fit but i'm willing to staple this gorgeous jewel to my index if i have to.
6. Mulberry Tillie leather shoulder bag i don't really need it. but it couldn't hurt. i'll also settle for a similar mimco.
7. Alexander McQueen Brass Swarovski crystal skull and butterfly ring um froth.
8. MARC BY MARC JACOBS 'Amy' Leather Strap Watch how orgasmic is this watch? it honestly can do no wrong. i mean i adore my DKNY one but it lacks the practicalities of an everyday watch.
9. American Apparel Voucher i'm in need of stocking some basics especially pantaloons. ive noticed that most of my wishlist compromises of shoes and accessories but i wouldnt mind some loving from acne, bassike and zimmerman.
10. Daria: The Complete Animated Series (DVD, 2010, 8-Disc Set) wouldn't mind box sets of skins, degrassi the next gen, sailor moon and the science of sleep. you know me, dvd whore.
and so completes my very materialistic wishlist. i know its extravagant. i may get them all or none or some or imitations. just as long as i turn nineteen and im not dead then im more than blessed.
love,
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
thought#194- sometimes girl
i find when we're together, everything is lovely and dandy and suspiciously effortless. the wretched suburbia, the cheap wine we drink, the faint chill of a saturday night is dispelled momentarily- as if we are two priviledged human beings to be coerced from the infrangible routine of seconds, minutes and hours. past, present and future. the rhythmic beat of air plunging into lungs and blood palipitating through heart- as we sit and talk and live. i slowly allow my brain to no longer function, to give reign to my heart and i find myself laughing hysterically over your antics and starring at your face as if one blink will peel your flawless complexion completely. i am no longer undithering, no longer indecisive. i am no longer questioning who we are to each other, what that means, who i have to be and who i cannot. i am no longer suffocating with what we will do next, whether i will see you again, whether this is casual, whether i will wake up the next morning folded between your bed sheets. i am such a future person. i always think before i do. but this very moment beckons not a forever. i just want your company.
i find when we're apart, i don't miss you. i don't even feel compelled to communicate, sip my tea and smoke my cigarettes in your presence. we live separately, segregated by what we cannot be for each other. i do not feel scattered though i ask myself should i be? should i be nothing without you? but that is foolish talk. idle chatter. we go on about our respectable lives, do what we need to do to be free. i carry the quotidian cross i bare, you sink into anonymity. the world that is so easily forgotten from the times we are together is amplified, magnified. work to be done, life to be lived. it is no longer us but simply you and me and the annihilation of romantic notions and the mind hibernating is left festering like projectile vomit on a highway. we are no longer bored but busy. held captive to our own jealous and dissimilar priorities. i don't even question if you love another (i never ask you about love it gets far too complicated), or if you think of me beyond the constraints of our encounters together. because frankly that is unfair for us both.
when truth be told is we are only sometimes people. drifters into each others existence. and it is not because we don't give a fuck about each other. its just the nature of our relationship. you are my sometimes man, i your sometimes girl. and there is nothing special about anything in between. whether this is a sad reality or not i still do not know. but i do know deep down we're both a little frightened to let anyone else, especially each other, in.
ps. that's how the story goes.
i find when we're apart, i don't miss you. i don't even feel compelled to communicate, sip my tea and smoke my cigarettes in your presence. we live separately, segregated by what we cannot be for each other. i do not feel scattered though i ask myself should i be? should i be nothing without you? but that is foolish talk. idle chatter. we go on about our respectable lives, do what we need to do to be free. i carry the quotidian cross i bare, you sink into anonymity. the world that is so easily forgotten from the times we are together is amplified, magnified. work to be done, life to be lived. it is no longer us but simply you and me and the annihilation of romantic notions and the mind hibernating is left festering like projectile vomit on a highway. we are no longer bored but busy. held captive to our own jealous and dissimilar priorities. i don't even question if you love another (i never ask you about love it gets far too complicated), or if you think of me beyond the constraints of our encounters together. because frankly that is unfair for us both.
when truth be told is we are only sometimes people. drifters into each others existence. and it is not because we don't give a fuck about each other. its just the nature of our relationship. you are my sometimes man, i your sometimes girl. and there is nothing special about anything in between. whether this is a sad reality or not i still do not know. but i do know deep down we're both a little frightened to let anyone else, especially each other, in.
Monday, March 14, 2011
thought# 193- game plan
i always need to remind/encourage/motivate myself by constantly reiterating my short term to-do list. hence why i'm writing one down now. i know i conjured one up at the beginning of the year and regardless if there are slight to no changes at all, i always like to repeat myself and jump start my ever lazy brain and condescending willpower. but i'm optimistic so far. things just might turn for the better this coming season. all i can do is pray so.
autumn to- do list:
1. ace uni mid sem exams and assessments.
2. clean room (get rid of old uni notes, rearrange, dispose and tidy).
3. turn ninteen. organise something low key.
4. get inked. now that i know what i finally want.
5. get fit. exercise, kick the cigs... maybe haha.
6. get Ps. the forever on the to- do list thing to do.
7. dye hair.
8. SAVE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
9. start going back to powerhouse.
10. move on.
11. keep organised/ time management/ balanced and happy.
lets see how we go.
love,
ps. this always gets me in a good, happy mood. got to love shaun tan books.
autumn to- do list:
1. ace uni mid sem exams and assessments.
2. clean room (get rid of old uni notes, rearrange, dispose and tidy).
3. turn ninteen. organise something low key.
4. get inked. now that i know what i finally want.
5. get fit. exercise, kick the cigs... maybe haha.
6. get Ps. the forever on the to- do list thing to do.
7. dye hair.
8. SAVE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
9. start going back to powerhouse.
10. move on.
11. keep organised/ time management/ balanced and happy.
lets see how we go.
love,
Sunday, March 6, 2011
thought #192- easy come, easy go
if one were to stop and think about it, it's truly amazing how many human connections we establish in a span of a day. from the moment you wake up and see your dad walking in with a hot cup of tea, to the instance you fleetingly meet the eyes of a man in his car to God knows where, to the lady at the clothing store asking how you are (but not really giving a fuck about your wellbeing), to the person you brush shoulders past in the street to the fit couple you witness walking their dog on your way home. be it minute, meaningless scintillas of communication, every person you indirectly and directly meet causes a connection, a wire, a vein inside your existence to come alive. and you may not feel any different than before you set your eye on this individual, and you may forget them in the blink of an eye but your lives, existence become a temporary couple, married by the mutual moment you shared alive together. can you believe that every person you come in contact with is sharing a fragment of their time, space and world with you and vice versa. a moment that they can not regain or ever get back. it's as simple and yet so complex as that.
sometimes you are fortunate for a repeat. for another transient encounter. sometimes you never see that human being ever again. so next time you catch sight of a handsome stranger, walk away from the only one you'll ever love, to a friend you forgot to befriend, to someone you have not yet forgiven think as if its your last. it may not be. you may have another opportunity. but what if you don't? you don't want to live with the unknown forever whilst declaring "two years later you're still on my mind."
life is too ephemeral to not be awake.
love,
sometimes you are fortunate for a repeat. for another transient encounter. sometimes you never see that human being ever again. so next time you catch sight of a handsome stranger, walk away from the only one you'll ever love, to a friend you forgot to befriend, to someone you have not yet forgiven think as if its your last. it may not be. you may have another opportunity. but what if you don't? you don't want to live with the unknown forever whilst declaring "two years later you're still on my mind."
life is too ephemeral to not be awake.
love,
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