thought # 103- why so serious?

i recall my mother's pearls of wisdom (stolen from another smart someone) "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." this was usually commented after a harmless game of tag or bullrush turned into a gargantuan bitch fight and often left both parties sobbing endlessly, either broken, bleeding or bruised. i guess the moral of this story still rings truth in life today.

one does not have to look very far but to the issues of the heart to see how getting to know each other, playing the whatever happens, happens game, enjoying each other's company can be all so pleasant and splendid until someone gets hurt, confused, disinterested or worse yet serious. similarly to the movies, we all know that cliched plot of things starting out as a bet, a little non-serious playful game to win the girl until hot male protagonist realises he actually has feelings for her and she finds this isn't serious after all and thus gets angry at him but he apologies ever so romantically and wins her over by some fucked up "i didn't expect to fall in love with you but now i do" spiel. bullshit, but with an element of truth.

 i don't know if you've ever experienced non-mutuality, because from what i can remember it is quite devastating. i wish i had such foolproof advice to assist in avoiding such pain, but then i would of already applied it to my life by now. i guess you really can't blame any of the parties if one strays or the other falls deeper. sometimes you don't anticipate reactions, the heart is just as intelligent in fooling as the mind.

i guess you could say if you want to play then play, if you want to be serious than be serious. but its so effortless to draw the line. what happens when you don't expect one from the other and it just merely happens? its all a little perplexing i guess. but perhaps before anything else, maybe we should stop playing games and start getting serious with one person before pursuing anything else...

ourselves.

love,

ps. no comment! thought it was going to be better.
pps. i never knew freddy krueger was a pedo and a gardener haha.

thought# 80- an over-caffeinated thought

note to self: never drink substantial amounts of coffee as a substitute for dinner at an irregular hour of the day with the assumption that you will gain any sleep. i have a brilliant headache as we speak and from the annoying throbs of my brain i have a thought.

"I always knew, in the deepest crevasses beyond my gut, that we always belonged. Even when I didn’t believe it to be so, and even when you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I always knew. And it was in that instance, when you had also realised that you had always known, birthed the vast difference between always knowing we belonged and we belonged because we always knew." 

i take no offence if you do not comprehend. neither do i. its a ramble based on something or someone that appears in your mind at ungodly hours such as 2:45am. i'll leave you to muse haha. i am so thankful for the long easter weekend! may you all have a blessed time as we commemorate not the easter bunny or the goodness of chocolate that we gorge upon annually, but the real non-commercialised meaning. perfect sacrifice that lead to salvation and life. sometimes we've forgotten how jaw dropping that fact is. i think its time to really reflect on that (myself included). all the shit that dwindles in our lives are in no comparison to what we would expect without the power of the cross and sacrifice that jesus made to take our place. my goodness, it still makes me churn inside.

love and happy easter lovelies!