thought #254- nothing appears as it seems

just because i feel ready doesn't mean it's time and just because you were nice to me for one night, one moment, one week, doesn't mean you're a nice person at all and just because i think it's right doesn't necessarily mean it isn't wrong. just because you have a good life and lots of pretty things and a privileged existence doesn't mean you have the right. and just because you're beautiful externally doesn't mean you have a heart to match. just because i made a mistake doesn't mean i think you are one. just because i appear fine and unaffected and nonchalant in your presence doesn't mean it's not chaotic in the brain and the heart. just because you promised doesn't mean you won't tell and just because i care now doesn't mean i'll care forever. just because you can't say how you feel doesn't mean you're not feeling anything at all and just because i think you're immature and insecure doesn't mean i don't think you'll grow and find who you are in the future. just because we met under unfortunate circumstances doesn't mean meeting you was unfortunate. just because i'm hurt now, doesn't mean i'll never cease to be hurt. just because we can't be friends doesn't mean i never considered you to be one. just because i let you see my weaknesses doesn't mean i don't know my strengths. just because it's hard doesn't give you the right to think i'm easy. just because you're fucked up doesn't mean you will be perpetually. just because i couldn't love you doesn't mean i hated you. just because i'm saying goodbye now doesn't mean i'll never say hello again. just because i want to break your heart sometimes doesn't mean i don't want to mend it. just because you don't know who you are doesn't justify why you thought you had me all figured out. just because i feel ready doesn't mean it's time.

love,