thought #207- man repeller

so i've reached that time of the year again, the so called "half yearly breakdown for singles." once again the cuddle weather has increased cuddlers on all girls' beds, relationship statuses are changing rapidly from single to in a relationship followed by eighty seven likes, equal amounts of congratulations and secret agonizing jealousy somewhere in between and an abundance of sorry i'm busy text messages and a relentless flogging of sickeningly cute couple photos rains through like last week's wetness. and once again despite your happiness for your friends and forced contentedness regarding you situation, one can't help but feel somewhat left out thinking the world is evolving and everything is happening to everyone but me.

or maybe that's just me haha. now don't get me wrong. as much as i'm woefully sounding bitter about it all i'm not saying this all with the intention of getting a pity party. it's a mere observation, almost a tradition in my life. and like birthdays and anniversaries, i thought it apt to celebrate the half- yearly bout of loneliness. it amuses me actually how it always happens around the same time. i mean i do get my fair share of singleness (it feels like centuries) peppered within the months of my year but it's always around this time in july. when everything is just that little bit more shitty. i honestly wonder why?

so now you ask is this a cue for me to go gallivanting in search of a new romance? free reign to whore around? continue to wallow in self pity and think what the hell is wrong with me? none of these actually. i do what i do every year. after exams, i spend my weekends doing what relaxes me. wine in bed watching my favourite dvds, writing, reading, loosening the vocal chords, do a little shopping, organise some friperie, book an instructor, work, coffee dates and shopping trips, the occassional party. i make a to do list and fulfill it (at least try to). because life goes on and it stops for no one and there's no point in me feeling sorry or me trying to desperately fill the void by romancing the next guy i see. its all about patience (my weakness) and self control (also my weakness). when i least expect and when its right and when everything is as it should be. and when i meet him or re-meet him. and then i'll be seeing life on the other side: spoons on the bed, relationship status changes, cheesay couple photos and all that gag worthy sap.

but until then, its back to celebrating my half-year loveless breakdown and preoccupying myself with the glories and busyness of life and this year i might actually get through it with a smile on my face.

love,

ps. not surprised if this is a 1970s porno.
pps. very surprised that these ladies are single. obviously unrealistic.