what is to you?
University- university is a relentless three or more year break from reality; themed with excessive amounts of caffeine, cigarettes, immense poverty, insomnia, hangovers, default outfits and already feeling exhausted before you've graduated and gotten a full time job.
Sex- is either an expression and consummation of love or way too many hormones combined with way too many shots combined with way too many sexually repressed desires.
Food- is a tease. you always crave so much and once you've got it you want to starve for three years.
Family- shapes a lot of why a person is the way they are. it can be both fundamental and detrimental. it's loving and stabbing simultaneously.
Friends- similar to family but you can actually choose them. they will disappoint you and hurt you as all humans are inclined to do. but they will also bring immense joy and love to your flesh self.
Love- is what i believe to be humanity's greatest weakness. it's what we all want, even the tough fucks who say they don't need love to be complete. we were created to feel it, know it and embrace it. sadly the notion has been contorted over the years. its an action and feeling and treasure.
God- is who created me and puts up with me and loves me unconditionally even being the little shit He essentially doesn't have to deal with at the end of the day. i am thankful to know that there's someone beyond the chaos of this world that is looking out for me and that i have something and someone to look forward to after this fleeting experience we call life is over. doesn't mean i don't struggle with getting it right with Him everyday. i'm far from it but it's got to begin somewhere right?
Trust- as cliche as it sounds it really is hard to gain and easy to lose. i think even the people that say they trust to easily internally cringe at this notion. because whether one likes to admit it or not, trust is so hard because we're all so afraid to give it away and risk getting hurt. its also another mankind peeve to feel uncertain.
Life- is meant to be lived, without regret and to the fullest extent. it's meant to be shared and not stored away for a rainy day. it's actually not meant for us. though that fact should make you happier knowing that at the end of the road it's not how much you did for yourself to know happiness but for the people you encountered along the way.
Fashion- is a weapon of vanity, self- expression, creativity, admiration and jealousy. it's complex and bipolar. but personally, fashion can always be taught, but not style.
Tattoos and piercings- similarly to fashion. for me it's whatever floats your boat. why should i judge? if its meaningful and tasteful then i am all supportive.
"Naughty stuff"- i have no idea what this is actually referring to but i'm assuming its the sex, drugs, rock and roll lifestyle our parents pray to Jesus their children don't end up manifesting. i mean yes its naughty and harmful and down right unwise but i have to be honest, it feels fucking fabulous. for a while. like in your adolescence and everything's a mere party. but thirty years down the track, stabbing heroin into your veins and dying of lung cancer is not glamorous at all. i understand the consequences. i think once you experience this so called naughty stuff its best to just move on and grow up.
Music- i once described music as a marriage between fingers and vocal chords or something along those lines. music is literally divinely created. it's like being in a relationship. life would feel like such a crumble without it.
Books- i'm a bit of worm. not as much as some people i know. but i still adore tearing through and consuming the genius of some amazing piece of lit. i still like the feeling of holding a book and most recently i've only started highlighting books (previously i thought it was some sort of sacrilegious practice to do so). who needs a boyfriend when i can have endless days in bed with a good book?
Marriage- yes its a traditional social construct and yes we live in a post modern world where old things are necessarily the things to do. but yes i am a little old fashioned and yes i still believe and secretly dream of the day i walk down a church aisle and see the face of my future hub and feel, even just for that moment, like the most happiest human being in the world. marriage still means something to me.
TBC...
love,
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