thought #224- deja vu

1. straight. however freja beha erichsen and ruby rose often make me think otherwise.
2. yes. horrible vice and companion to my coffee and cider.
3. yes. i can't stomach copious amounts though.
4. no.
5. underage.
6. yes. sideboob.
7. yes. hoping to fulfill this by the end of this month.
8. yes, nothing extraordinary.
9.  not particularly.
10. samantha and madeleine.
11.  forever alone haha.
12.  smile, polite, family orientated, sense of style, sense of humor.
13. jerk, spitting in the street, says cunt in every sentence, self conceited and clingy/jealousy.
14. it would be a three way tie between fight club, sixteen candles and spirited away.
15. you are francisco lachowski.
16. everyone, it's ridiculous.
17. blacktown emergency.
18. i am generally indecisive and very sarcastic.
19. i can be a pushover sometimes. i also don't fancy my nose or legs.
20. freckles and friendliness.
21. happy. hopefully having conquered a corporate dynasty of some sort.
22. blood: non-existent bonds stronger than blood: very well. i miss them though.
23. like any normal child- parents'- bipolar. i love them immensely though.
24. cooking dinner together, having said dinner on a fairy- lit rooftop overlooking some beautiful city, dessert, wine and favourite movie, ending the night with cigarettes, ciders, photographs and dancing to mixed tapes.
25. movies without subtitles, slow walkers, people who back out/change plans last minute and compulsive liars.
26. european, tall, lean, fashion style's a mix between vintage and european fashion, killer looks, adorable laugh, kind and thoughtful (i actually just half described my uni crush and ideal future boyfriend).
27. horns, evil, resides in hell. aka lucifer.
28. to avoid hurting their feelings.
29. the lack of consistent connection.
30. very long but it was to mads.
31. hurtful words duh.
32. the Word.
33. to win the lotto.
34. see number 12.
35. ideally, while i'm single and young i'd like to live overseas (london or new york) but i would love to raise my family in australia.
36. my body.
37. teacher, professional singer and doctor.
38. ben and jerrys or baskin and robbins.
39. the female version of james franco.
40. on the greek islands.
41. pringles (fatty).
42. francisco lachowski.
43. there is something such as world nutella day (feb 5)

thought #223- i do

so i attended the wedding of a dear friend and big sissy of mine yesterday. i'm not one to be sappy but weddings actually get the better of me. it's one of the only moments in existence that i gush at the innumerable amounts of kissing, loving and pathetic mush i would otherwise projectile vomit over. it was a beautiful day and evening and i couldn't help feel that they really belonged together. one moment that particularly got me was when the groom uttered "you really are the love of my life."

apart from the sappiness associated with this movie cliche, the thing that got me was that i totally believed him. i wholeheartedly knew and felt how much he adored his new wife and how real it was. and suddenly this notion, this beautiful declaration was screaming at me... as if to ask "will that ever happen to you?" now we all know that i'm not one to be wanting to be in a serious relationship in this point in life. but nevertheless the thought doesn't dwindle. i mean yes in the future i hope to settle down and find that person who is divinely ordained for me, but until then i find myself far from it.

i honestly wonder if i'll meet that man. and he'll love me for every facet be it brilliant and despicable. that one person who will know who i am and who i'm not and still want to marry me and have babies with me and grow old with me. i wonder if i'll meet someone who i will be content with for the rest of my life and never look back with regret for saying "i do." i honestly wonder. until then i vicariously live through these blissful moments, drinking glass after glass of wine and feeling warm and fuzzy inside each and everytime the groom and bride look at each other and dancing to "ill make love to you" on the dancefloor as a single lady. innately hoping and praying and wondering when i'll start growing up and looking past myself.

love