thought #189- to do list

i want to expand, fill voids and pockets of my existence with aged wine, exotic cuisines and soulful music. i want to travel the world, three times over. once, simply to enjoy my freedom, to get lost on one's own accord. second, to appreciate the cities i fleetingly meet and third, to appreciate the person i am to appreciate these cities with. i want to find a person with the capacity to love me. in those glorious days of elation; road trips and thick bedsheets and picnics and conversation. as well as those moments of cold shoulder and make up free morning and misunderstandings. i want to write songs, stories, rants and rambles. ink the vein and vessel of life. i want people to read and not be in awe of me but of the subject, and the connection of mutual understanding shared simply by the fact that the author and reader, you and i, are both human. i want to dress to elucidate my mood. style, create, embody. i want to do less of nothing and more of something (unless nothing really means something with someone). i want to internally delete past feelings. blame, shame. forgive even when they are not sorry, move on and be hopeful. i want to do better in uni. fullstop. i want to stop fucking around. i want to visit little arcane eateries that beckon with their obscurity, interior design and brunch menu. i want to get talking with my Creator. sort out my differences and be at peace with my soul. i want to delve into the limitless horizon of sound, to appreciate the beauty of vocal cords and the marriage of human fingers and instruments. i want to grow a little older, and by that get a little younger. maturity and wisdom. i want to love my body. exercise, rid toxicity (when will i smoke my last cigarette?).  i want this year to be more than another year. i want to be a better person. happier. universally inclined. aware. i want to live. for reasons undisclosed. for reasons other than myself. 

love,