thought # 35- i hate endings

even happy ones which concoct feelings of sappy jubilee as you see the male and female protagonist slay all opposition and ride away into a sunset/home/endless road with implications that they will be happy perpetually. haha ok as unrealistic as that sounds i like that ending haha. but in general im not fond of endings. of things that must conclude and never return or repeat. similarly to today. being the last year of 2009 one cannot help but feel relieved/excited/morose/nostalgic about how quickly the days have matured and our world is aging once again. nevertheless, i am expectant and eager for what 2010 will bring.

in retrospect, this year has been one of many challenges both personally and in the context of my secondary schooling. it was a significant year i must say as many firsts enterred my life and many lasts simultaneously. it only feels like yesterday i graduated high school, went to schoolies, had a favourite boy (i still do, but just not in that context anymore), went to the formal, moved churches, turned 17 and so on. it really does feel like life was only yesterday and today is only here for a transitory tease before it becomes yesterday as well.

before i go on blabbing about the universe and time and profound nonsense haha i must include my new years resolutions/things to do which i always make every year. its  tradition, or more like ocd habit haha. but anyway here it goes:

10 things to do, who to be, what to expect in 2010

1. turn eighteen (obviously ha)
   
2. enrol into university
3. go clubbing
4. go on that special secret playdate with elle the boyfriend.
5. get my Ps 
6. learn to ride a bike (yes i still dont know how)
7. sponser a compassion child
8. volunteer to do a ministry at church
9. be better disciple and person in general haha.
10. enjoy the single life but be mindful and wise of the future. 

im sure there is so much more but ill add onto it if i do remember. oh 2010, it'll be a splendid year i have a good feeling. well apologies for not writing any sooner, work is a killer haha. but take care and have a splendid new years eve and day and may you party hard and love even harder and allow Him to mould you and refine you into the person you are supposed to be.

love

ps. the best party of all! mario party haha.

thought # 34- note to self

1. don't ever smoke cigarettes or consume alcohol or stay up until 3am talking about the complicated world of relationships when you have an eight hour "podiatric suicide" work shift the next day. HAHA

nevertheless i had a splendid evening at the grey residence celebrating the birth of the one and only eugene.  despite having to leave early due to work the next morning, i did have my fair share of reunions, perving on handsome strangers, meeting lovely new people, amusing myself at the antics of drunk people and being fed by lovely asian parents. it was i must say a prelude to 2010 and all the exciting wonders it is to bring. soon i will be posting my things to do for 2010 list which i actually intend to be completing (for once).

alot of things have been surging through my mind lately and to be honest it is hard to discern which path to follow. though i know some are life changing and attached to the future in a large impacting way, some are minor things that have convicted me to re-evaluate and enter 2010 without having to think about such things. there is one issue in particular. of course i can't elaborate when the people involved are currently oblivious so until then i shall remain vague and secretive haha.

well i guess decisions and change in this context may blossom into something better. i need to start dealing with life now... feels like  i haven't been doing so lately haha.

love,

p.s. life kind of feels a bit like this these days. (http://tumblergh.tumblr.com/)

thought # 34- merry christmas!

and happy birthday jesus! i'm going to keep this entry relatively short. actually that's an overstatement. tonight's entry will only be eight sentences long. so before i run out of space, due to my verbosity, let me greet you all a merry christmas and i do hope this festive, yuletide season was delightful in every way, shape and form. i hope the presents you subtly hinted many months ago became a reality, that you felt complete in the company of merry family and second cousins from usa who unexpectedly arrived for a short lived holiday and most of all were reminded of the greatest gift given to us thousands of years ago- jesus!

now i cannot wait for new years to arrive and i am so excited for 2010 and all the wonders and surprises it will bestow for all of us. now before i explode after gorging my little heart out today, i must say goodnight and once again wish everyone a beautiful and blessed CHRISTmas!

love

p.s. another self advertising spiel before i conclude... its the last one for 2009 :) enjoy my lovely regular supporters and new friends who randomly find it haha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-0k8SBpf
oc 

thought #33- noche buena

is what they call christmas eve in the philippines (i think... haha correct me if im wrong) and this evening usually involves fantastic gorging in the company of family and kin, reminiscing, singing karaoke and waiting until the clock strikes midnight to repeat the routine over again. however i can't help feel that this festivity is slightly understated here in australia and silence, peace and the busyness of our regular lives have seemed to overridden the laid back, festive feelings synonymous with a traditional filipino christmas eve and day.

so i arrived home, after a tolerable but boring six hour shift at work, to consume my noche buena of spag bog then fruit salad and systematically rub my legs and feel the wave of tire overcome my entire anatomy. as i speak i am incredibly sleepy which is a nuisance since i was intending to stay awake until midnight and cheer on jesus for his birthday haha.

its funny though when i think about christmas eves and days in the past. although many were spent in the company of family in the forms of lunches, dinners and excessive holiday weight-gain, i can still recall christmas eve of 2006 when i was asked out on my drive way by a delightful young boy named kyle mercado. then i spent christmas day in the philippines (without my lovely parents) a year after. i miss little, petty yet significant things that suddenly become synonymous with your christmas season. it makes me nostalgic and laugh uncontrollably to think that years have truly passed and i still immediately think of shoo-ing of kyle away in the midst of a serenade haha. oh good times.

well i must be off, may you all have a splendid yuletide season. may it be a cherished time in the company of family and friends, may you recall the delightful and pathetic things you did when you were younger and create many more as this season repeats, may you be merry and find yourself drunk under the mistletoe HAHA but most of all may you give glory and gratitude to the one whose arrival, sacrifice and departure in this world caused a revelation and brought revelation to mankind.

love

p.s. christmas day 2007 - midnight at the serendra, philippines. one of the greatest holidays ever.

thought #32- it's beginning to look a lot like another consumerist christmas

haha im pathetic at puns. and apologies for not posting as part of my quotidian routine lately. work has appeared to suck the energy and time which was previously left for mooching and writing entries haha. so christmas is in two days, how crazy time has eradicated this year. soon it will be 2010 and my things to do for 2010 will soon appear (new year's resolutions are overrated but i succumb ever year haha).

it appears that once the christmas album is playing at work, two competitive houses have their christmas lights occupying 3/4 of the street's electricity, 349579457 santas are simultaneously taking pictures with frightened children and children at heart, tinsel, trees and miseltoes are being dusted and hung christmas has finally arrived. and all these things are good and jovial but just like easter becomes easter bunny day christmas is so easily trivialised into a family holiday and an excuse to gorge and splurge. i have no objection with fun on christmas because essentially it is a celebration.

its just a saddening reality that as hackeneyed as this statement is "jesus really is the reason for the season." this is the truth. if a saviour did not arrive humbly on this earth to bring hope, salvation and give the greatest intangible and tangible gift of adoration, this whole concept would not exist. so if this love incarnation is not really the message that is being said this christmas, stuff the overweight red and white man who breaks into our houses in the middle of the night and stuff the pretty lights and presents because santa didn't save us and our world must understand this.

nevertheless have an amazing festive christmas with the conscious understanding of love incarnation and a baby born thousands of years ago that saved us from ourselves.

love

p.s. the truth haha.

thought #31- its called child labour

not really but ten hours of standing, tagging sale shoes, getting three different sizes of three different pairs of shoes which don't end up being purchased, being ignored by (selectively) deaf customers, trying on shoes when no one else was in the store, dusting until i thought i would wheeze was not particularly the best way to spend a lovely saturday. nevertheless im not complaining, being paid and all haha it was also delightful to have kate and kuan drop by and keep me company be it a few minutes in between silences and window- shopping customers.

on a lighter note, last night i attended ncc's christmas shindig at st johns bowling park (think fairfield area) it was a lovely time of catching up and seeing faces that i have not seen in so long (apologies to the lovely kid i used to teach in sunday school who out of a competitive nature nearly poked his eyeball out with my elbow... im such a bully ha). nothing much has occurred except how 2009 is slowly dissolving and in less than a week christmas will be with us. i cannot believe how quickly this year has arrived and departed but moreso excited for what 2010 will bring.

well i am honestly, dead tired physically and mentally and thus cannot even summon enough strength to write anything witty or amusing. sorry if i've disappointed haha. well goodnight friends, until next week and another week of child labour (i kid, i love my job PROMISE!).

love

thought # 30- i will never compromise nail polish again

really, after experiencing the glories of expensive nail polish i will not return to the dodgy $2 bins or asian brands which are as bad as scratching the addictive scratchies my grandmother loves to buy. good quality nail polish is exactly like a great pair of fitting jeans, they look great, they feel amazing and sit in your nails/ hug your ass as if they were moulded on. i will no longer degrade nor deprive myself of the luxuries of expensive cosmetics because in this case a little more dollar actually goes a long way.

on a less superficial note, i received my atar results today and after an inital (more like whole day) disappointment i finally was happy to accept what i had and be blessed to find myself in a position where i am still eligible for any university haha. well today was spent with the favourite boy. i must say, against my sappy penchants and whims for anything mushy and idealistic, i did miss him very much. it was a lovely feeling to once again be in a position of familiarity, comfort, assurance and certainty. although things must still be conversed over, the heat, atar (including a raging mother who eventually calmed down haha) and how slightly depressing and eerie where the wild things are turned out to be (great soundtrack, amazing concept, creative, not very child-like though and quite solemn...) were iota compared to just being in the splendid, face- to- face concept of together.

to be honest, there are some days where you love the idea of singleness; whether you are in a relationship or on a temporary sojourn, the freedom and lack of responsibility, coupled with the absence of dealing from a mutual or collective perspective can be so tempting. then again, when your in a position similar to today, like teaching your favourite boy to eat sushi, laughing at his ridiculous mannerisms, feeling sweaty on a bus stop and asking... "do you still like me?" reminds me why "seeing each other" is worth being in the first place haha.

love

p.s. not relevant at all, just amusing. found it from a surfer's tumblr or something. HAHA