thought #48 if only the world was more patient

then perhaps it would be an irrefutably better place. perhaps we would have people at the supermarket queues with their arms outstretched politely remarking "after you." or the extinction of speeding tickets, or the decrease of suicidal rates because people are patient enough to not play God and just wait to die in the correct and ordained time haha. (n.b. anyone in retail can concur that if only more people were patient, then stress levels and aggravated manslaughter rates would dramatically drop HAHA).

actually, the real reason behind this thought originates from my house alarm, which has not stopped beeping all day. obviously something is broken but my parents being the asian optimists that they are, believe it will eventually go away. they have been incorrect so far. the only reason why this damned electronic is annoying is because it is located the nearest to my bedroom and thus beeps like a bitch all day and will so all night *sigh*.

so anyway... patience is one of the most amazing virtues to possess, yet is also the most difficult to acquire. personally i am the most impatient being in this universe (arguably). i can be many things of the positive, but being patient just doesn't adhere to any bone in my body. this can be seen in the patterns of behaviour i exude.   for example, i know an item will go on sale, eventually, yet have an impulse to buy it at retail price, regardless if it costs the earth. for example, i know i will eventually get told something, but persist in finding ways and methods of manipulation (in matty's case, i fail miserably but still haha). for example, queues for me are like torture chambers. especially when all you want is one item and there are about 9275259 million other beings in front with double the amount of items.

it's amusing to know that "be more patient" or "be less impatient" always appears on my things to do/new years resolutions list every year. but what i've come to ultimately realise is that it takes patience to become patient. it requires stretching and bending and a behavioural alteration to anything synonymous with time and waiting. through many encounters in life, the best moments and decisions have been made because i chose to wait. because i extended myself just a little longer than i thought i could. it has been worth it. so as 2010 continues, as things to do, people to meet and days to age approaches us i think of only one thing. to be patient. hopefully, by the time 2011 comes around i don't need to put "be more patient" on the list, because it's already been achieved :)

love,

p.s. somedays i wish i could learn patience by being stuck in a car with people i dont like haha. 

thought # 35- i hate endings

even happy ones which concoct feelings of sappy jubilee as you see the male and female protagonist slay all opposition and ride away into a sunset/home/endless road with implications that they will be happy perpetually. haha ok as unrealistic as that sounds i like that ending haha. but in general im not fond of endings. of things that must conclude and never return or repeat. similarly to today. being the last year of 2009 one cannot help but feel relieved/excited/morose/nostalgic about how quickly the days have matured and our world is aging once again. nevertheless, i am expectant and eager for what 2010 will bring.

in retrospect, this year has been one of many challenges both personally and in the context of my secondary schooling. it was a significant year i must say as many firsts enterred my life and many lasts simultaneously. it only feels like yesterday i graduated high school, went to schoolies, had a favourite boy (i still do, but just not in that context anymore), went to the formal, moved churches, turned 17 and so on. it really does feel like life was only yesterday and today is only here for a transitory tease before it becomes yesterday as well.

before i go on blabbing about the universe and time and profound nonsense haha i must include my new years resolutions/things to do which i always make every year. its  tradition, or more like ocd habit haha. but anyway here it goes:

10 things to do, who to be, what to expect in 2010

1. turn eighteen (obviously ha)
   
2. enrol into university
3. go clubbing
4. go on that special secret playdate with elle the boyfriend.
5. get my Ps 
6. learn to ride a bike (yes i still dont know how)
7. sponser a compassion child
8. volunteer to do a ministry at church
9. be better disciple and person in general haha.
10. enjoy the single life but be mindful and wise of the future. 

im sure there is so much more but ill add onto it if i do remember. oh 2010, it'll be a splendid year i have a good feeling. well apologies for not writing any sooner, work is a killer haha. but take care and have a splendid new years eve and day and may you party hard and love even harder and allow Him to mould you and refine you into the person you are supposed to be.

love

ps. the best party of all! mario party haha.