thought # 7- if i befriended a murderer

apart from the fact that i may not survive to see tomorrow, i would ask them why they would choose such a profession...  such a label. i am not one to judge and will never despite how horrid the crime may be but you can't help wonder what possesses a man to cut throats and dismember bodies as if they were cows in an abattoir. human evil is such an intricate, scary thing. mainly because it is within our fallen nature and we ultimately have some running through our veins. but then again, i would never chop someone's head or point a shotgun at someone's face. because no matter how many times a murderer will say that this life is a bastard and this world is out to get them, i am only reminded of who i am accountable to at the end of the day and who's presence i will be before when judgement day comes.

perhaps im odd but i really do pity murderers who have lived a lonely life, whose upbringings and experiences compel them to discard the value of human life. reading in cold blood (as i mentioned in a previous thought) made me somehow wish if only the murderers were brought up with love, with a revelation of who they really are beyond the carnalities and horrors of their own lives. if only they knew it wasn't too late before they walked up to the planks and were hung on that fateful day of 1965 (i personally don't approve of capital punishment and see that it isn't our role to decide upon life and death). perhaps its me but even the most cruel, sadistic being is not beyond the ability to find hope and affinity. i was looking at photos of perry smith and dick hickock and when you analyse their grimaces you can see a veneer of pride that is only present to mask how hurt and lost they really are.

so if i ever befriended a murderer perhaps i would come to cherish the precious gift of human life and without any fingers being pointed or claims on whose to blame, i am in utter respect for people who can forgive their loved one's killers (like the virk family) and i actually sympathise with murderers... no i don't condone what they do and i don't see it right in any way, but if jesus could love and forgive wretches like me and other murderers, adulterers, frauds etc. who are we to not? 


love

 

p.s. photos of perry smith and truman capote (top) and dick hickock (bottom) the murderers of the clutter family in 1959. there is something so beautiful about these photos, you almost forget they're murderers and remind yourself they're first human beings.

thought # 5- i miss dead people

as i woke up today, i was reminded about a family friend who had passed away a few months ago this year  and though i did not weep inconsolably and wet my bedding, i was honestly sentimental about it. i suddenly missed the small, petty things that completed who she was like the way she chuckled and showered you with kisses upon your check, her little scuttle across our old church kitchen room, things that you don't consider as important when they are still alive. but somehow when they're dead those trivialities are somewhat immortalised in memory.

i experienced the same feeling whilst watching movies, like that latest heath ledger movie... the imaginarium (i won't even try to finish this title) and stand by me starring the adorably tough river pheonix. it dawns upon you how amazing they are and suddenly they're gone. no longer existing on this earth like the rest of us. then of course there is mj and other people who have departed this year.

oh and i think immersing myself in in cold blood by truman capote has created the same effect. i can't get over the clutter family massacre and how the murderers had no real motivation but rob human life... mindblowing.

which takes me to the essence of today's thought. how quick and ephemeral life is. how one moment you're sitting typing away a blog about how eccentric your brain can be to lying in a corpse with that half-smile and morgue maked- up face in a pretty dress that doesn't belong to you (sorry im not being offensive or morbid... im just emphasising the nimbleness of time haha). i think we often take that for granted and place much pressure of a world that will not exist when a new heaven and earth is made. live life beyond your own selfishness, i say. enjoy everything this world can offer but be mindful of the next and make this life one that counts (im still personally trying to learn this all) :)
 
so, perhaps its me but you really do miss dead people.

love

p.s. thanks danise, i love your site.