thought# 67- day one

observations/lessons on my first official day of university.

1. feigning that you're confident (not stuck up, there is a difference) actually makes you feel better internally. sometimes all you need to do is ask a stranger and admit you are totally lost and frightened that you'll arrive late to a lecture, when in fact all you needed to do was walk straight ahead and wait for another twenty minutes.
2. it's easy to start conversation with strangers in the context of university. personally i am not one to engage in initiating this practice but eventually i will try and become pro.
3. make friends with the people you sit next to at lectures. it not only makes things much easier but boosts your social circle x infinity. 
4. do not ogle at handsome boys, skim. even when you don't have your glasses on, pretend you are not blind casually glance, smile if the occassion calls and do not repeat frequently unless you want to be thought of as an immature, blind, strange little stalker.
5. accept that you won't be the most stylish/smartest/prettiest/funniest/nicest/loudest/quietest person in the room. acknowledge your mediocrity but also know that you, in yourself, are brilliantly unique. be content and resist the temptation to compare or burst into inconsolable tears haha.
6. befriend the co-op bookshop. make it your new boyfriend. 
7. don't scowl when strangers double take a glimpse of you. smile, or remain blank. look sophisticated and abuse your unfamiliarity (as with numeros 1-5). do not intend this for flirtatious or malicious purposes or the creepy folk will come after you.
8. consume coffee or any form of caffeine before a lecture, especially when you have been awake since 6am. it really helps.
9. do not try to be fashionable in freezing weather. it is a mistake to think you can get away healthy with a thin blazer and stockings. its simply no use shivering especially in front of gorgeous strangers who may mistake you for an epileptic ridden person.
10. savour lecture breaks. take this opportunity to befriend, skim some more. breaks are ingenious 
11. riding on a ghost train conjures feelings of loneliness and nostalgia. so does eating at a sushi train by yourself. solitude has its benefits but in this case it is only depressing.
12. fall asleep as soon as you get home before anything else. sleep is heaven sent to the overwhelmed, undergraduate who has walked in the rain, purchased ridiculously expensive textbooks and has been awake since 6am (an ungodly hour for the insomniac) all day. 
13. i quite like university. i could definitely get used to this. 

love,

thought #45- expected strangers and unexpected friends

in life you meet people; strangers. another nameless grimace in another crowd in another city in another country in this entire cosmos. another palpitating heart walking to the quotidian beat of their repetitive, mediocre existence. another soul, another system of organs with another list of dreams to conquer and shit to forget. another metaphorical clock, which ticks, the hands passing the numbers by which your age represents, until your time is up. another one of you.

but sometimes, and not often nor assured or inevitable, you meet people; who evolve from being mere strangers. who no longer become a blur in the ephemeral and busy nature of our lives. whose name is attached to a face sprinkled with familiarity and features (freckles, one eye green the other blue, a crooked nose). whose smile you recognise as having the responsibility for your internal explosions. who, out of serendipity or fate (never just by chance), knows exactly how you feel with no need for verbal confirmation or one’s physical presence. who has common dreams to conquer and shit to forget, but also stark contrasts, which spark mutual interest each and every time.

sometimes in life you meet another one of you and suddenly that feeling of just a statistic, number, another name and another farrago of flesh and bones is dispelled by the fact that you’ve met someone like (but not is) you. so once you meet that someone that once a stranger, now a friend- don’t ever let them go. why would you ever return to just “another?” 

love,

ps. because life sometimes feels like where's wally? haha