thought# 67- day one

observations/lessons on my first official day of university.

1. feigning that you're confident (not stuck up, there is a difference) actually makes you feel better internally. sometimes all you need to do is ask a stranger and admit you are totally lost and frightened that you'll arrive late to a lecture, when in fact all you needed to do was walk straight ahead and wait for another twenty minutes.
2. it's easy to start conversation with strangers in the context of university. personally i am not one to engage in initiating this practice but eventually i will try and become pro.
3. make friends with the people you sit next to at lectures. it not only makes things much easier but boosts your social circle x infinity. 
4. do not ogle at handsome boys, skim. even when you don't have your glasses on, pretend you are not blind casually glance, smile if the occassion calls and do not repeat frequently unless you want to be thought of as an immature, blind, strange little stalker.
5. accept that you won't be the most stylish/smartest/prettiest/funniest/nicest/loudest/quietest person in the room. acknowledge your mediocrity but also know that you, in yourself, are brilliantly unique. be content and resist the temptation to compare or burst into inconsolable tears haha.
6. befriend the co-op bookshop. make it your new boyfriend. 
7. don't scowl when strangers double take a glimpse of you. smile, or remain blank. look sophisticated and abuse your unfamiliarity (as with numeros 1-5). do not intend this for flirtatious or malicious purposes or the creepy folk will come after you.
8. consume coffee or any form of caffeine before a lecture, especially when you have been awake since 6am. it really helps.
9. do not try to be fashionable in freezing weather. it is a mistake to think you can get away healthy with a thin blazer and stockings. its simply no use shivering especially in front of gorgeous strangers who may mistake you for an epileptic ridden person.
10. savour lecture breaks. take this opportunity to befriend, skim some more. breaks are ingenious 
11. riding on a ghost train conjures feelings of loneliness and nostalgia. so does eating at a sushi train by yourself. solitude has its benefits but in this case it is only depressing.
12. fall asleep as soon as you get home before anything else. sleep is heaven sent to the overwhelmed, undergraduate who has walked in the rain, purchased ridiculously expensive textbooks and has been awake since 6am (an ungodly hour for the insomniac) all day. 
13. i quite like university. i could definitely get used to this. 

love,

thought #51- non-mutually exclusive concepts

i really don't have a thought today. so here's a story haha.

there lies a candid moment, in between walking through another sea of flesh and bone and gangly limbs and dithering hearts and the very instance she ogles a man distinguished by nothing more than his ordinariness. immediately she sets him apart. and as they exchange an emotionless grimace, a signal to say that they acknowledge each other's presence as strangers do, she is already lost in twenty years later and a potential future.


free from the restrictions of truth; she summons names, addresses, ex-girlfriends, the condition of his bedroom, what alcohol he consumes, what car he drives and most importantly what he thinks of her. if he thinks of her (of course he doesn't seeing as they only saw each other three minutes ago and it's far too farfetched to think that things are already mutual).


she dismisses her juvenile games and pathetically continues to exist, miserable by the very wretched thought that she knows nothing and most likely will know nothing about a stranger she neither met nor conversed with. she turns into her coffee shop and orders nothing out of the mediocre. as she waits, he enters quietly chirping on the other end of a phone. she suddenly pauses. heart explodes. nauseating feeling emerges. she attempts to unpeel her stare but she cannot believe it. is it coincidence? is it some sappy movie she has subconsciously produced in her mind? is it serendipity? (of course she knows that this is a popular cafe and that it is nothing special to share an affinity for the same coffee beans. but that conclusion is boring and depressing).


as her coffee arrives, she is grateful yet frustrated. should she let another moment pass due to her passivity? he notices her presence and this time smiles. she reciprocates. she forgets the banality of the moment. she forgets the distinct line from strangers and liking strangers. as she walks away, defeated by her shyness, he asks if they have met before. her familiarity intrigues him. internally she is in chaos, externally she remains calm. feigning her pleasure by the pursing of her lips and beverage at hand. she says they have not. exchange of names, universities, brief introductions to life stories. things appear favourable.


and as they converse, on their way to a morning lecture. he finally deciphers a mutual thread. they are mutual. they are mutual through his girlfriend. and as they part, she secretly curses under her breath the concept of ever being mutual. 


fin. haha.

ps. i never knew such a song existed haha. its really sappy the song, but the video clip is not too bad. makes you wish you had one of those clock pendants haha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXAGNzyUuAs