thought #190- another february 14

in a perfect, selfish world (governed by my own forces), my valentine would be james franco wearing nothing but a fur coat. or francisco lachowsi wearing nothing. or a now single ryan reynolds or julian casablancas serenading "meet me in the bathroom". mere fantasies. perhaps in a realistic but yet to experience moment in the world, my valentine would be senstive and relentlessly romantic. he would buy me a single rose and cook dinner. we'd watch something like american psycho together. embrace each other with a bottle of wine and end the evening with strumming a guitar and humming along to the smiths.

as much as i don't like to admit it, but i'm still holding out for a cheesy valentines date with an equally pathetically disgustingly mushy valentine. perhaps its the innate, womanly yearnings within that cause me to feel this way. i've never been one to celebrate valentines day nor worry about whether i will be graced with a chivalrous deed that i am loved. i mean one day, i'd like to. but this year is a no go. another pass, another monday, another mediocre day within the month of february that will come and go. a fleeting trivial twenty four hours. until i meet my abominable sweetheart. my johnny flynn or jeff buckley reincarnate. i'll pass off the day and curse the usual commercial gimmicks and finish that Riesling in the fridge all on my own thank you very much.

love,

ps. ive also realised my pattern of singleness on vday. and usually before or after. curse?

thought #59- the pros and cons of valentines day

the reasons why i've never celebrated valentines day and, although i may perhaps appreciate this tradition in the future, never really fancied it at all haha.

CONS

1. the endless pathetic sap- being anti-romantic (to an extent haha) this day is but another excuse to excessively gush over other halves and lovers in the form of rhymes publically and embarrassingly spread across the local newspaper, purchase novelty sized teddy bears with "i love you" scrawled across the heart its carrying across its chest (and if your boyfriend is a genius you may even get a "i love you beary much!" *insert eye roll at pun* haha), cut poor roses from gardens knowing very well they will be discarded the same day and other cheesy shit. 
2. the degregation of the colour red and the three word phrase- i can no longer appreciate the colour red on valentines day knowing very well that couples in matching outfits and other traditionalists are flaunting around their scarlet as if today's the only day you can wear the hue. its a horrible cliche that can be likened to corsages at proms/formals and superstitions such as not opening umbrellas indoors.... excuse me but i'll open my fucking umbrella whenever i want! haha. in addition to this hackneyed concept is the repeated use of "i love you" or better yet the word itself "love." truly it has lost its meaning by the very nature we carelessly toss around the VERB on this day. tragically it can take only a transitory pause of a day for one's "i love yous" to be "i never want to see you again." *sigh* haha
3. the commercialism- just like christmas and its advertising of santa claus, christmas lights and anything synonymous to "ho ho ho," valentines day is another time of the year in which florists, candy shop/ restaurant owners and cinema complexes get a chance to shine. well its not necessarily a con for florists to take advantage of this day (being in such a niche and luxury sort of market) if they didn't have to charge their flowers so damn expensive. i mean remind me again why i have to pay for a half dead red rose for $10 a stem?!!!
4. the weekend weight gain, overdose on chick flicks and excessive consumption of alcohol and cigarettes- some people may actually see this as a pro. right until the moment they regurgitate cookie and cream chunks, shots of tequila and cry simultaneously due to the frustrating hurt of having to vicariously live through perfect couples in movies.
5. its another stab at singles- as if everyday isn't enough to remind us of our loneliness haha. ok, so im exaggerating. most singles are actually fine with their status and do not hold any insecurities due to their patience and understanding that things such as the mockery of valentines day will pass. bitterness and cyncism is an acquired taste i guess. and although you can live with people, especially yourself, beating the brains out of the concept of singleness with sarcastic jokes and cruel fun, the reality of the fact lingers. even if you are as anti-sap as myself, you can't help feel scintillas of being left out, of wishing you could expect something even as quixotic as a dozen roses at your doorstep or your man taking you out for dinner or perhaps waking up together with his shirt on. and although it is thoroughly amusing to laugh at the gag worthy couples snuggling in the couples seat right next to you, or comment at how daggy pdas and another public declarations of affection are, at the end of the day you are ultimately the one without the other... 

PROS

1. you expect nothing and gain nothing in return- the disappointment (apart from the obvious gaping hole in the shape of your palpitating organ) of wondering if he will, or if he won't will not exist. the dramas are invisible. the frightening feeling of being dumped on valentines day is a mere nightmare... simply because there is no one to get dumped from, no one to receive a shitty tightarse present and no one to say "i don't love you..." 

*bursts into uncontrollable tears* HAHAHA i kid, happy valentines day!

love,

ps. yeah it was alright. seeing my lovely girls was far better haha.