thought #217- updates

surprisingly my new pesco-vegetarian diet has been successful so far. i've officially survived one week and have found that the absence of meat in my diet has made me feel somewhat more pleasant inside. i have not consumed any alcohol at present and have had my hopefully last marlbie forever. i know i'll crave it but perhaps i can find a way to get away from it. as for uni, i'm enjoying my subjects this semester and have a silent hope that things may improve (a hd perhaps!). as for matters pertaining to the heart, i still remain single, vacant yet hopelessly in love with someone who doesn't feel the same (not anything new). to be honest it sucks. but i really can't do much. the feeling still lingers, the thoughts still linger. i feel doomed to be held captive to such a depressing, mendacious hope. i also received my ta return back but the majority already left my bank account and have been placed into hiding/savings. and so concludes my update.

things i want:
- to snag a bargain at the big fashion sale on thurs.
- exercise
- sell my gary begini minidress
- watch captain america tomorrow with carlo
- second inking
- get into a vacation program
- book my fucking Ps already
- start getting back on track with the Creator.

love,

thought #120- update

on the current state of my life as of the 30 jun 2010.

• as of june 25 2010 i am currently on holidays. thrilled to be mooching for five weeks.
• currently unemployed. still. but waiting for that precious call back.
• currently single. still. but not looking. heart in hibernation. after its catastrophic punctures for the past few months, its safe to say that its crawled back to its owner's refuge. i'd like to think that whatever happens, happens. but this has only caused me to be more cautious of who i let in and what happens really means on both ends.
• sleep deprived. still. but has fuelled her 4am mornings with skins online and fb bffl chats.
• finds friday and saturday as her movie and wine in bed nights. i know i am lame being legal and should be galavanting around kings cross and clubbing at every opportunity, but frankly id rather stay in bed with a good glass of spumante and the last kiss rather than get felt up all night. i mean i don't mind clubbing once in awhile (ie. july 2). but perhaps being a home body/child grandma makes me desire comfort first.
• is adamant to start learning how to cook. i want to expand my culinary artistry and knowledge. maybe for one day when someone special comes over for dinner.
• will finally be awakening friperie for its winter collection. i know its been long but soon, after i organise everything, it will open its little eyes and bring back the pre-loved goodness.
• getting back to writing. i havent written in so long, it felt my brain was going into a creative draught. but thankfully i have http://dearhumanity.tumblr.com and http://sounderrated.com to keep me artistically alive.
• getting back to singing. i havent touched the piano in awhile. so these holidays i am keen to start recording and punch those vocal folds into place.
• exploring. in more contexts than one. i can't wait for the innumerable dinner dates, bar visits, pub crawls and everything in between. provided a job is there to sustain me haha.
• is trying to be happy. because being indifferent or feral or raging or confused or pretending to be happy really just sucks balls. 

love,

ps. just think i might :)