thought #23- the side effects of sleeplessness

i had, irrefutably, the worst sleep in the history of my human life last night. perhaps the viewing of paranormal activity last night contributed (although i must say that i was thoroughly disappointed, and far more bored and dizzy by the homemade filming than freaked out of my wits... the last few minutes were beginning to spark interest but suddenly the film concluded). this feeling can be likened to early ejaculation (haha) or for a more wholesome approach consuming peter's cookies and cream ice cream.  you feel bored, sickened, and about to give up when you suddenly hit the iota of a cookie bit and emotions of enjoyment and excitement burst within you... and suddenly you're ice cream bowl is empty. i must say the movie was a letdown but enough to get you paranoid especially between the hours of midnight to six am (which i am mostly awake and active haha).

anyway, after watching old re-runs of whose line is it anyway? to get me into a jovial mood before sleep i engaged in hours of tossing and turning and perspiring. i honestly felt i was in a fever like state. i couldn't fall asleep until about 5:30am, joy. i still don't feel so well... perhaps i need an early night to compensate. sickness has such perfect timing. this week will be busy with work, performances, presentation nights, movies and the like. hopefully i feel better tomorrow.

well my father just walked in with the dictionary turned to "ejaculation" because i checked it's spelling and now he thinks im a sexually aroused freak haha.

love

p.s. definitely feeling a little headless (thanks danise)

thought # 22- why do i love the things that i hate?

i ask this question in the light of my unceasing desire to watch paranormal activity and though i know fully well that i will most likely not be able to sleep for many many weeks (not that i sleep at all these days) and though i still haven't learnt my lesson since watching silence of the lambs at the tender age of five and not being able to sleep in my own room for the six years after ( it's not abnormal, just a vivid imagination HAHA) because i was thoroughly convinced that hannibal lector was going to consume my insides, i still want to watch it. *sigh*

perhaps it's human nature, our innate system that even though we fear something we still do it. even though we know its bad for us we still pursue. how carnal and fleshly haha. speaking of doing things that i loathe, i  could not sleep properly until 5 ish in the morning which resulted in an unproductive morning with a headache, empty stomach and apathetic mood. i cannot stand this feeling yet cannot bring myself to doze off at the normal time normal people decide to sleep. perhaps its because i'm not normal at all haha.

well to recount, ari's party was a success and it twas pleasant seeing many brilliant faces that i have not seen in so long. now the weekend is almost over and things such as work, movies, presentation night and  life comes before me. sorry i don't have much to say or any profound words or thoughts to challenge, convict and abuse haha. it's definitely the absence of sleep getting to me haha. have a splendid rest of the weekend.

love

p.s. this will definitely be making me sleep well tonight. james franco you gorgeous man.