thought # 8- i want to like animals

i really do. i think back to all the numerous occasions when i have fled from canines who make sweet love to your leg or look like they could maul you in a few seconds, or flinch at harmless rabbits and other creatures. and now i really want to push past my trauma and personality disorder to accept and love animals. i know im naturally not an animal lover since i never grew up in the presence of a best friend dog or a lazy feline. but i guess this random thought really challenges me now to think otherwise.

i don't think i could ever live in a zoo or own thousands of assorted creatures but i am trying my best to not cringe at the sight of an animal who is licking their lips at the sight of my limbs haha (a sort of declaration, i guess). well its 10:40am (the first time to wake before 12:30 since the abolition of school) and i'm skyping with my dear friend kuan before he is to leave for malaysia... i really am sad to see him go. but on the other hand, there is schoolies to think about tomorrow and a week long adventure to explore. i am beyond excited at the endless euphoria we shall experience lazing around at the beach, cooking and making mess together, talking until the late hours of the morning about life and no doubt drinking the same amount.

it will be sad though to know that this may possibly be the last until another few years before the group is to reunite and this time we shall be young adults with possible mortgages, spouses, careers and children at our hips. so i believe this will be a time to celebrate youthfulness and life beyond the hsc. now all we have to do is wait for the results. my goodness i am so nervous, i almost do not want to receive any marks back. but my apprehension is extinguished by the truth that He has it all within the palm of his hand. so i shall pray and believe that the system hasn't screwed me over or further i havent screwed my future over and shall be given a chance at the uni life i  have so pathetically mused about since the beginning of time.

well i shall be off, a nanna nap calls and i shall see you all in a week.
love

p.s. why i want to love animals. thanks again danise, you really do beautify my entries (http://otarie.tumblr.com)

thought # 6- i think i just gained five kilos

really, i think i just gained another stomach and a half at the thought of finally having concluded my hsc. its the most relieving feeling in the universe. like that emotion you get after consuming a gallon of your favourite ice cream and despite the knowledge that you're about regurgitate or explode you're just too happy to really care. or when you know that person you like is totally into you without any need for speech. or after you've relieved yourself from a long road trip when you thought you were about to shit all over your brother in the car (haha sorry, graphic and gross). what i really was intending to capture from all these similes is that i have that feeling of utter relief and happiness. now i can sleep tonight knowing that i don't have to know the difference between observations and action research, nor do i ever have to apply a log function or know what year pericles died. thank you jesus. 

so now there is a world to conquer and so much time to spare. this freedom is almost making me giddy to be honest but i am glad. speaking of jesus i had the most amazing encounter last night. i was praying about society and asking for confidence and any apprehensions to be dispelled and this verse continually came into mind "philippians 4:6" to be honest i couldn't recall what the actual verse was so i scavanged for my bible among the load of papers and clothing in my pig sty of a bedroom and finally found it. and it was "be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." and i thought oh my goodness, you are good! haha i knew the verse but it came at such a perfect time and it felt all fear was blanketed over his amazing promise. i don't believe it was coincidental but i know that i slept well that night haha.

thats all i wanted to really share haha. enjoy the day friends!
love




p.s. so i tweeted this to my friend jem the other day and i believe it captures the essence of what im feeling right now haha.