thought #54- hot is better left to describe heat not humans

even though i'm a repeated culprit at referring to overly attractive men as "hot" deep inside there is so much more to a gorgeous person behind such a label and moreso it would be less tragic to know that a man thinks of you far more greater than your "hotness." so as i promised my dear friend matthew moore, i will explore the word/concept of "hot" and its irrelevance to relationships and our society in general, in five easy statements.

1. there is a difference between hot and beautiful- to be described as hot may certainly be flattering, but will not perpetually continue. in this world you are either genetically blessed to have the ability to make men/women melt at your smouldering physique and external attractiveness, however this doesn't necessarily equate to a beautiful human being. the word hot is often affiliated with either the scantily clad, make up- ridden, good looking but zero substance girls who enjoy their time spent being felt up and in the company of equally bitching friends or the smoking, jaw dropping males who flaunt and swoon but have dick and jerk written all over. to be beautiful could actually include a degree of "hotness" but to be solely associated to as being hot is superficially and irrefutably not beautiful. being beautiful is to have a heart that can exceed the loveliness of one's face. 
2. being hot is so transitory- what's hot is so easily defined by the mind of an era. you could be hot last year, then you're suddenly not simply because you're not wearing the popular clothes, listening to the popular music, being popular and all that shitty mainstream business. besides since we've established that hot is a shallow factor, today you may be seen as hot but in 20 years time this could no longer be the case. sadly, if you are too busy being fuelled by this idea of "hotness," chances are you will age to a point of realisation that you never took the time to be beautiful or even understand human beauty.
3. being JUST hot is not enough- so yes you maybe "hot" and attractive and every man/woman you encounter froths over how gorgeous you are, but at the end of the day no one would ever delight in a boyfriend/girlfriend/romantic relation/other half replying to the question "why do you like so and so?" with "cause they're hot." it would be a different story if one was to continue after this, but if its solely because you're hot then forget it. you're personality and values and things that define you greater than a hormone-fuelled feeling are far more worthy.
4. being hot is superficial- would you prefer a girl/guy saying that you're so beautiful or you're so hot? i mean obviously beautiful means theres so much more than just scratching the surface of a human. hot in this context can be seen as derogatory or even dehumanising as if you are defined simply by how physically irresistible you can be and not because you are wise, profound and caring.
5. relationships are never based on "hotness"- and if they do, they usually don't last. you're an absolute idiot if you date someone just because they are fabulous arm candy but when no ones looking and commenting on how great you are together, there are no deep talks, similarities and common interests- you end up as bland, flat and one sided. i dont think folks like my grandparents who have been married for over 50 years once thought of each other as hot and that was it. its not bad i guess to be "hot" but its more important to be beautiful.

love,

ps. it really is, haha. 

thought #1- i'm not romantic, just tragic.

at the risk of sounding like a deranged, prepubescent, ocd girl, i must say i have an unhealthy affinity for aaron johnson. i watched angus, thongs and perfect snogging today (again) and i must say i love and loathe with a passion films such as these. beyond the fact that they never really do occur in reality, the happy ending is splendid but slightly quixotic. thus i came to this horrible but realistic conclusion... i may never find mr right, but i can always avoid mr wrong.

i know this is slightly insulting for older 20-30 something year olds, who have been through the dating game, been through the serious relationships and for someone of the tender age of 17 who has never bedded anyone, really weeped over a life-changing horrible rejection or relationship to say this, well may be a slap in one's face. but let me assure you i am not being egotistic or guru-like. from my fair share of "i think we should just be friends," jerks, players and numerous forms of male. i sympathise with every woman and even man who has gone through such experiences. i would merely like to remind everyone (myself included) that everyone has a choice and we should always be wise about giving ourselves away literally and metaphorically.

this doesnt mean i am anti-relationship and destined to age lonely, drunk and tending to my 987598900 cats. i just mean that sometimes getting caught up with the quest for unrealistic mr right can make one lose sight of meeting your mr right... am i making sense? probably not. it is 12:43am, so forgive the babble. but i should conclude here. i do hope that by steering away from this deluded fantasy that you will actually find that the boy sitting opposite you at the coffee shop; with a black tea (you're a green tea kind of girl), a book you hate, an uneven haircut, a cute but not quite aaron johnson face may actually mean something to you after all.

love

p.s. this blog was not a sad excuse to rant about aaron johnson, but it was to post a picture and froth over  him.