thought # 2- i am inspired by...

due to my lack of inspiration, i thought i would summon brilliance from the things that fortify me the most. this may be totally irrelevant to you but i challenge you to try some from the list and watch creativity ooze out of your brain like brad pitt getting shot in the head in that closet by george clooney in burn after reading (great movie, gross analogy sorry haha).

the 20 part inspiration list 

1. the Creator, the origin and source of all things creative and living. 
2. www.hel-looks.com and www.lookbook.nu. i could honestly spend sleepless days on these sites, oh street fashion God bless you.
3. modern novels. from truman capote, virginia woolf to vladmir nabakov... there is honestly something inspiring about depression, pedophiles, lesbians, insanity and milk (i.e. a clockwork orange).
4. foreign/abstract/hayao miyazaki films. because they actually make you think.
5. photographs. from bloodied bedsheets, animal heads on a beautiful girl, a brilliant sky or lovers fighting and flying kites on a summer afternoon, they capture everything it means to be human.
6. ugly, understated and unconventional things. the inspiration comes in finding the beauty of such objects/people. 
7. music. all you need is a pen, paper and someone as captivating as eva cassidy or bjork to compel you into a trance.
8. ikea. because if its furniture doesn't already get you excited, recollections of coming to this place and being buried alive in those ball-filled play rooms will. 
9. strangers. they may either end up as dicks or great people, like relationships really. 
10. cute awkward boys (personally there is one in particular).
11. ghosts. friendly ones like casper at least. 
12. my grandparents they remind me that aging isn't all that bad.
13. androgyny don't you love blurring the lines of he or she or shim?
14. morbidity i personally hate watching gore but horror stories told are precious jewels.
15. insomnia sometimes the best things written, made or said come from a state of frustrated, half- awake, abusive emotions.
16. beautiful jewellery because they either tell a family story, or remind you of queens and kings of ancient cultures and epochs... who most likely ended their lives hung, decapitated or something so very tragic.
17. triviality the little details are what spur big dreams and creativity.
18. the eastern suburbs of sydney it must be the aura, the poshy swank urban territory of the wealthy but look like they borrowed clothes off a hobo down the street. the markets, boutiques and culture infusion is sickeningly splendid.
19. fringes of every shape and form, i plan to write a tale one day beginning with a fringe. 
20. blogs other people's thoughts, inspirations and methods of handling life 

love 

p.s.  this photograph inspired me to write this today, many thanks to whoever posted this.

thought #1- i'm not romantic, just tragic.

at the risk of sounding like a deranged, prepubescent, ocd girl, i must say i have an unhealthy affinity for aaron johnson. i watched angus, thongs and perfect snogging today (again) and i must say i love and loathe with a passion films such as these. beyond the fact that they never really do occur in reality, the happy ending is splendid but slightly quixotic. thus i came to this horrible but realistic conclusion... i may never find mr right, but i can always avoid mr wrong.

i know this is slightly insulting for older 20-30 something year olds, who have been through the dating game, been through the serious relationships and for someone of the tender age of 17 who has never bedded anyone, really weeped over a life-changing horrible rejection or relationship to say this, well may be a slap in one's face. but let me assure you i am not being egotistic or guru-like. from my fair share of "i think we should just be friends," jerks, players and numerous forms of male. i sympathise with every woman and even man who has gone through such experiences. i would merely like to remind everyone (myself included) that everyone has a choice and we should always be wise about giving ourselves away literally and metaphorically.

this doesnt mean i am anti-relationship and destined to age lonely, drunk and tending to my 987598900 cats. i just mean that sometimes getting caught up with the quest for unrealistic mr right can make one lose sight of meeting your mr right... am i making sense? probably not. it is 12:43am, so forgive the babble. but i should conclude here. i do hope that by steering away from this deluded fantasy that you will actually find that the boy sitting opposite you at the coffee shop; with a black tea (you're a green tea kind of girl), a book you hate, an uneven haircut, a cute but not quite aaron johnson face may actually mean something to you after all.

love

p.s. this blog was not a sad excuse to rant about aaron johnson, but it was to post a picture and froth over  him.

genesis

to be honest, i am laughing whilst writing this. i cannot help but feel that i have once again caved into the cyber world of sharing irrelevant details of my life without a clue of who will consider it as having some worth. i believe i have grown a penchant for writing blogs, i began long ago in 2005, at the tender age of 13... believing that my ranting would or could possibly encourage/impact/verbally abuse strangers and friends. and so i enter another beginning, the start of many starts which i have started... but seemed to never conclude.

i only have one aim for this blog, i wish to see it finished. when? how? i am yet to decide; i would merely like the satisfaction of knowing i have amused, touched or even imparted life someway or another through this. not for my own glory but for a king greater than my own measly boob-lacking, freckle-faced, crooked- teeth, laughter-ridden asian self. 

love

p.s. croire is french for believe/thought, in case you were curious. and for the french who read this and think to themselves "she's such a french wannabe" let me tell you, i am. 

p.p.s. this is not meant to offend the french, i love your language.